A message from the water

I went to a seminar on the true power of (hexagonal) water. The seminar discussed about the hexagonal water crystal based on the research of Doctor Masaru Emoto and how simple words or wishes can change the structure of water. Hexagonal is supposed to be the most useful or absorbable structure of water for human body. (Do forgive me if I make any technical mistakes).

Emoto-san, which was the main speaker in the seminar, showed all sorts of shapes of water crystals that had been labeled or called by positive and negative names. The word vibrates and affects the water. It changed the water structure one molecule at a time. The water affects whatever is around it. The domino effect does its thing again. All positive words have created beautiful hexagonal crystal that keeps growing. It was amazing.

Whether you believe it or not, it is entirely up to you. But let us say it is true. If small things like labeling or calling something can change the structure of the water, imagine what happens to us and to our body when somebody call us with bad names - bearing in mind that at least 70% of our body consists of water (baby 98%, children 80%). What will happen if we keep on saying bad things - to others and to ourselves? We are destroying our own selves. Vice versa, if we say good things.

To me, the seminar serves at least as a reminder of how even the smallest things can make or break someone – our friends, our family, our partner, our children, ourselves. It was a good reminder.

So I supposed what the Professor was saying was correct. He cleverly titled his presentation “A message from the water”. It was an important message indeed: one that advises us to love others and ourselves through simple means of positive thoughts, words and attitudes. Thank you.

PS: Warmest regards to all my new friends whom I met in the seminar. You do not realize how meeting you has reminded me how ‘green’ I am in the field of seeking oneself, how I have yet so much to learn, and how I am nothing compared to other people. I have nothing to be proud of. I have everything to feel blessed for.

Happy birthday, pop

Happy birthday to my father. Well, my late father, but one whom I still hold so dearly in my heart and will always do until foverever. (question: does it still make sense to say happy birthday to someone who has passed away?)

If you are reading this, pop, I want you to know that we are all doing fine here. You need not worry about anything.

If you are reading this, I want you to know that I love you with all my heart. God bless.

Ma’s business card

The late Mother Teresa used to hand out prayer cards, which she referred to as her “business cards”. On them were printed the words:


The fruit of silence is prayer
The fruit of prayer is faith
The fruit of faith is love
The fruit of love is service
The fruit of service is peace.


“This is good business.” She liked to tell people as she dispensed them.

- Taken from Kathryn Spink’s book titled “Mother Teresa” -

Note: It is amazing how one's love to God can lead to such relentless effort, undying peace and unconditional devotion.

I wonder what He has in store for me

Ever wonder what God has in store for you? I have. I am right now.

It has been almost three weeks since I have returned in Jakarta. Time sure flies. Life has been going pretty strange. This is what I have done: I have met quite a number of people. I have heard many updates from my friends about their life and 'challenges'. I have been spending time with my family. I have renewed my driving license. I went to the bank to get a new PIN number. I have written one proposal and one brochure. I am about to attend two sessions on healing and on spiritualism. I have been learning more about healing. I have been going out of town with my family to take care of family issues. Not bad for a first month back from sabbatical.

This is what I have not done. I have not made up my mind on what specifically I want to focus on – career-wise – in my life. I have not made any plan for my freelancing career. I have not completely unpacked my suitcase yet. I have not secured any project (and thus, income) for me for the next months. I have not returned to any particular routine. I have not done much exercise and yoga. I have not read as much as I used to back in Spain.

My life is so unorganized and unclear, yet I feel fine. This is so untypical of me. Which makes me wonder why He has led me to this path. I wonder, but I do not mind at all. To put it strangely, the only thing I worry about is probably the fact that I am not worried.

A friend of mine questioned why I needed to go so far for so long just to learn the obviously simple lesson that she had known all along: that we should just let life flows, that we should not think too much about too many things, and that we should enjoy things as they come. Lucky her. Stupid me.

Unfortunately, some of us need to travel a longer route to realize that. I am still traveling my road. I have not got there yet but I am getting there. Lucky me. Thanks, God. Owe you one (more).

Why the hell did you return anyway?

If you are not an Indonesian or you have never lived in Indonesia, I am pretty sure that you have heard about the condition of the country. Thanks to the International media and the multimedia/Internet technology. If you are an avid CNN viewer, then you might have a pretty strong view of Indonesia and probably pity those who 'are forced' to live there.

If you are an Indonesian or you happen to have the opportunity to live here, well, I need not say more about the country.

So that very question came from several dear friends of mine and my own sister: why do you want to return to Indonesia anyway when you have the option to live abroad? My answer - and I shall put it in bold: because I want to somehow help develop my country.

Cliché. Idealistic. Dreamer. Unrealistic. A big joke. Still, the answer came from the very bottom of my heart. So help me God.

PS: If anyone has a constructive concrete suggestion on how to do it, I am listening.

Freelancing! Freedom! And then what?

It is official. I have resigned from my full time position in my company, Maverick. It has nothing to do with the company. I love it to bits, I love my bosses, and I love my colleagues. I just want to have more room to decide what I want to do and what I want to focus on.

I am entering a new phase on my career. I am giving freelancing a try. I am free! (Call if you need a PR person - wink wink)

I was so confident of myself. I still am. Nevertheless, yesterday I was reading a book titled Working from Home and it dawned to me: I do not have anybody else to hang on to but myself. I do not have a corporate regiment that I can follow. I need to manage myself. I need to control my mood more. I need to think of my income target. I need to have a plan.

My high-geared brain is doing its thing again, fueling the worries within. I wonder how far I should plan and how far I should just let life flows – where do I need to draw the line between them? See how complicated my brain works? Maybe my friend was right. I do think too much. I can feel God smiling at me and saying 'gotcha'.

I suppose freedom has its price to pay. Just like money, power and everything else, freedom is not and should not be an end. We cannot make freedom our objective. It is a means to an end.

The more important question now is: what will I do with my freedom? A question unanswered. Without trying to sound arrogant, sometimes I feel that I am blessed with having too many options or ideas. It is a luxury, I know, but is still a challenge for me. I need to decide on what I want to focus on and to prioritize things. Otherwise, I will soon be tired once again.

So let’s do it one step at a time, shall we? For now, I am entering a new phase on my career. I am giving freelancing a try. (Call if you need a PR person - wink wink)

Happy birthday to a friend

… a dear friend, a beautiful person.

I know you like this song. This is the only song that I have ever heard you sing along to.

Losing my religion
by: REM

Life is bigger
It’s bigger than you
And you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
The distance in your eyes
Oh no I’ve said too much
I set it up

That’s me in the corner
That’s me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don’t know if I can do it
Oh no I’ve said too much
I haven’t said enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

Every whisper
Of every waking hour I’m
Choosing my confessions
Trying to keep an eye on you
Like a hurt lost and blinded fool
Oh no I’ve said too much
I set it up

Consider this
The hint of the century
Consider this
The slip that brought me
To my knees failed
What if all these fantasies
Come flailing around
Now I’ve said too much
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

But that was just a dream
That was just a dream

Have a peaceful birthday - full of simple happiness and love. If only you realized how precious, gifted and blessed you really are. Take care.

Home at last – thank you, Spain

I am home at last in Jakarta.

When my aircraft was taking off from Madrid airport, my sister asked whether I wanted to say goodbye to Spain. I said no because I am returning here someday. After a short pause, I added, “but I do want to say ‘thank you’ to Spain. Thanks for all the experience and lessons.” Not goodbye, but thank you.

The journey home itself was incredibly smooth. All the problems that I had projected did not turned into reality (fortunately) - the carrying of the luggage from the hotel to the car, the car itself, the check in process, the overload baggage and the complication with the immigration as well as the tax refund office.

I got teased a bit (by God, who else) though when my flight MAD-BKK was delayed. We did not know whether we would be able to make it for our connecting flight. We did at last but barely. We were among the last passengers to board the aircraft and it was already a last call. It was too close for my liking. I was about to lose my temper but then I managed to return to my “oh well” state. A taste of what is to come.

Then home at last. My brothers, sister, nieces, nephews, etc welcomed us home – not sure whether my nieces and nephews were more excited about us going home or about getting their presents. They made a banner for my sis (their mom) “welcome mommy”. They quarrel about who gets the best present. Jakarta is still with its traffic jam and lack of discipline among the drivers. My cat is still as fat and lazy as ever. There was a lot of interchange of SMS with friends. I started to work out whom I should meet and when. Nothing has changed much. It feels like the home that I know.

Spain was a training ground for me. It was a bit like – but on a much smaller and insignificant scale – a hermit monk in his monastery. Now it is time to practice what I have learned so far.

There was no goodbye to Spain. Only thank you.

PS: book read during the journey home: The pilgrimage by Paul Coelho. Recommended.