Thursday, September 21, 2006

Peace in Ramadhan: Animals know better

(why the heck do I put two threads on Ramadhan anyway? Well first, I forgot where I had put the text for this thread. Second, because I want to. Third, because this is my blog and I can do whatever I want with it).

Why do I put pictures of animals for Ramadhan article, you ask. Here is the process. I was flipping through my pictures and promised myself to stop at the first pictures that reminds me of Ramadhan in a split second. When I saw these pictures, I immediately went "aaawwwwhhh", so sweet, so refreshing, so calm. peace. happy.

And that is what I hope Ramadhan may bring to me, to us all: peace and happiness. Within. An internal and internalized process to rejuvenate the soul, to create peace, to search for peace, to do peace. To be peace.

Enjoy a good Ramadhan. A peaceful one. Within.

I can hear my cat Miauw laughing and saying "hah, I told you so. And you thought you were the higher being."

Holy month, humble wishes


It is that time of the lunar year again when all (well, ok, granted, not all) Moslems are fasting. A holy month when hundreds of years ago the Moslems believe the holy book has ‘descended’ to earth through the prophet Muhammad for the first time.

To all who observe the Ramadhan, may we gain much more than just hunger and thirst. In hunger and thirst, we remind ourselves of our brother and sisters who are not as fortunate as we are. In hunger and thirst, we remind ourselves of no reason to be proud. In hunger and thirst, we remind ourselves of God and of being god-like.

To all, I apologize for the wrongs that I might have thought, said or done. I apologize to you and I ask God for His forgiveness.

May we all – all of us, moslems and non-moslems -- be touched by the grandness, peace and love shared in this month. Be aware that God is within each and every one of us. And that ultimately, He is the only way to go, whichever our belief system is.

Return to the true meaning of Islam: a complete surrender to God. In peace. Happy Ramadhan, y'all!!

Monday, September 18, 2006

Still in the school of emotion

I am in that mood again. One in which I do not feel like talking or chit chatting – imagine that, me not like talking. I would rather stay in my room with my notebook and its Internet connection. Lights off. With nobody around. With no music turned on.

Writing this. Or chatting with certain people – a selected bunch of people (if only they knew how selected they were). Look at me. Just after writing the previous article about perspective, I am writing this article.

The school of emotion. Very important. What a challenging task for a person as moody as I am. Obviously I have not graduated yet. Enough said.

Except to add: I am so looking forward to my next trip to Mecca. Miss You. Miss me. Miss Us. I should not have. I do not have any reason to because You are always with me, We are always together. But there You have it. In the school of emotion.

- Hi Floor, are you still breathing the environment as beautifully as you used to? -

I know you.. You are me!

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It has happened again. I have met me – or part of me. Well, people that reminds me of me. I understand them. I understand where they are coming from. And I see what I can become. I see what I could have become. Some were good, some – I am glad I decided not to be.

One asked how I could know her so well. I had a hard time answering that question at that time. It took me a while to say, to realize or to admit: “Because you are me. The decisions that you are making, I have made that as well and lived the consequences. The anxieties and hurt that you are feeling, I have felt that as well. But somewhere along the line, we have decided to take on different routes.”

I have said a lot to them. I have asked a lot of questions. I have given them many of my two-cent. The truth is, those will be the questions, the answers, and the advices that I would have given to myself as well. I was not only talking to them, I was talking to me.

Obviously I have not learned my lesson yet, because I am still telling me this. Because I am still experiencing this through my own experience or through meeting them. Because it still hurts even as I am writing this. I am not over that yet. I am still learning.

Another said: “You learn your lessons anywhere, everywhere. It is just a matter of how we see things.”

I keep saying thanks to various people from whom I have learned so much. And I will say it again: thank you. To my friends. To brothers and sisters. Mom and Dad - of course. To strangers. To God. From the bottom of my heart.

And I want to say thanks to two people in particular: Mbak Lita and Ong - of Maverick. Both of whom have been my supervisors. my mentors and my friends from Day One of my working years. I could not have survived this far without you both.

A matter of perspective

Photobucket - Video and Image HostingIf you are, ehm, an avid reader, then you know that I am a freelancer. Three months and counting, heyyyy, cool (me giving a pat on my own back).

The truth: I was worried for a while. The number in the account is going down. Damned, I think, I am not pulling my weight here. The old pal called anxiety strikes again. I had no clue what I would do next month. I have got to find another project.

I learned that there might be some delays in the payment from my recent project. Greeeaatt. (I was about to say shit, but, oops, ok, there I have said it). Should I make a case out of it? I decided not to.

Then, I thought, what the hell am I saying? (sorry for the choice of words in this article). I have chosen and still choose to be in this situation. I actually have enough to survive for quite some time. I am ok. I calmed down. I asked the Lord and myself for forgiveness. And I thank Him (or Her?). I feel grateful. Again.

Suddenly, I really did calm down. I am ok. I know it might sounds like a mumbo jumbo but after that things started to fall into places. Got some calls. Got some possibilities (some are sure deals). And I am ok.

I am telling you. It is a mind game. It is all a mind game. Or the trilogy of body-mind-soul game. Whatever you desire to be, you just be. And among the most powerful “being” is being grateful.

If you feel your life sucks, open your eyes and look around you. Look within and do some changes. Believe me, you would not want to change places with any other person. I know I would not.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Separations, divorces


Sad but true. Every month or even week, I hear that someone is getting separated, divorced. Even some of my friends who are at the same age or even younger than I am.

They must have gone through quite an emotional roller coaster to come to such decision. Separations always leave deep scars, deeper than we realize or want to admit.

Sad but true. Or is it?

In my opinion, sometimes, most of the times, it is better that way. Some are naturally left with bitterness but they seem to be a better person after the separation.

Not that I am advising everybody to get divorced. I am sure they all saw it as a last resort. I do too. Nobody wants to get divorced. But a last resort is still an option that we can take once we see no better way to go about it.

There is a quote that I like from the book “Conversation with God”:
“If you both agree at a conscious level that the purpose of your relationship is to create opportunity, not an obligation – an opportunity for growth, for full self expression, for lifting your lives to their highest potential, for healing every false thought or small idea you ever had about you, and for ultimate reunion with Go through the communion of your two souls – if you take that vow instead of the vows you have been taking – the relationship has begun on a very good note. It is gotten off on the right foot. That is a very good beginning.”

When I read this, I thought, wow, now how many of us have thought about this as a purpose of our relationship? Have I myself ever thought of it this way, however sensible the statement seems to me?

And here the quote was just referring to starting a relationship – not even about maintaining it. A long journey that is worth taking, given the right purpose, the right partner and the right attitude.

(Friends, please take good care of your heart. We do a lot of ‘practical’ things to mend our lives from those relationships but often neglect our emotional state. And please do not see this as a ‘failure’. It takes guts and honesty to make such decision. Love you.)

Thursday, September 07, 2006

A change of mind, a change of mine

I have always thought of myself as an open-minded person. I also thought that I am a strong supporter of appreciating other people’s religion. I said that I respect all religions and (I thought) treat all religions with the same respect.

That was, until about two years ago, a dear friend, whom I somehow always think of as my big sister, asked me: “If your child tells you that he/she want to switch religion, will you accept it?” I told her, at that time: no. Does this imply that I do not treat all religions with the same respect? Does this mean I contradict myself?

A couple of days ago, I SMS-ed her. I reminded her of her question. I reminded her what my answer was. And I said: I would like to change my answer. I am ready to change my answer.

Her response was so touching for me. Loosely and partly translated: Now you understand that the task of the parents is only to open the way – to initiate the child to start seeing, to start walking. The (end) decision is really up to the individual.

Thanks, sis. Sorry it took so long for me to learn it.

The richest people in the world

I was listening to Quraish Shihab, an Indonesian Moslem preacher, the other day. He talked about fasting and the beautiful names of God.

He said that during the fast, Moslems try to mimic God’s characters. One in particular that he mentioned was, in Arabic, Al ghani al mughni – The Rich The Enriching One.

What interested me most was when he referred Al Ghazali and said that the definition of rich here does not refer to having the most money in the world. Rich here is the feeling that we do not need anything more.

In Ghazali’s exact term (as exact as translation may be): the really rich (man) is the one who does not need anyone at all. The one who has no need for anything except God Most High.

This may be way out of our league, so I shall settle with the definition of feeling fulfilled, feeling grateful of what we have. It is all in the state of mind (or rather, heart). And it does not stop there. Now that we have enough, it is time to share and to give.

A person who feels that he/she is fulfilled and thus start giving continuously – Does that not sound like the richest people in the world to you?