Refreshingly rich

I met several friends a couple of days ago. To put it bluntly, they are the daughters of rich and famous fathers.

But if you see them, you would not have guessed. One of the topics was that street-hawker snacks called kue cubit and how we often crave for it. Another topic was how we can help other people or even the country – and I tell you, they have done quite a lot.

You would say of course, it is easy for them to be like that. If we only know the emotional struggle they have to go through and if we only realize how many ignorant heart-less rich people there are, then we might be able to see them in a much more positive and less cynical light. We might even learn to appreciate them and to be thankful for them.

Some people can do something but are not willing. Others are willing but feel powerless.

They are among those who care, can, are willing and actually do something about it. They are the rich people - through and through.

Beautiful sunset

I was on my flight back home earlier today when I saw this beautiful sunset through the aircraft' window. The shades, the colors, and how they blend with one another. The dark clouds that floated around just add to the dramatic scenery.

I moved to the empty window-seat beside me and continued staring at the sunset. It was so beautiful. I almost cried. I actually did.

I don't think that the rest of the passengers noticed the gorgeous sight just outside their windows. I wanted to take a picture of it to show you. But I have left my camera at home. I tried turning on my mobile phone (flight mode, don't worry), but I forgot the PIN. It was not meant to be shared. It was for me only.

Thanks for the personal entertainment. It was a good end to an eventful day.

What’s my job got to do with my life?

That question came from a friend. She is a very special person spiritually. She more or less guided me when I had no one else to converse with, not about this particular subject. Yet she said that she is doing an ordinary job like any other layman. The job, she felt, has nothing to do with what she is spiritually. She is an architect, building lavish buildings and five star hotels.

So I told her a couple of stories from my other friends.

Friend A. She is working in a new business development division of a telecommunications company. Ordinary job. Hard work. Long hours. One day she said to me, “I had to get this project. Those people who work under me – they are paid on project basis. If I do not get this project, they will lose their job.”

Friend B & C. They set up a company. They hired young people – fresh graduates, people who have been in the industry for a short period. The company grew. But what they are always proud of – the one topic that they always brag to me about – is how the people have grown. They groom people and push them to another level. They help people grow.

Friend D. He wants to set up a coffee shop. Another big city thing, we thought, but not for him. He wants the coffee shop to be a place where people can get together, talk freely and discuss just about anything. He said, “If I cannot be those people, at least I provide the place where they can hang out and exchange ideas.”

You. I said to my friend. Do you realize how many people you employee when building one hotel? About 500-600 people, she said. Do you realize that you have secured jobs for those 500-600 people for the next several months? Not to mention those that will be employed to run the hotel. Not to mention how building good infrastructure will be good for the business or tourism industry in the local area.

I rest my case. What about your job?

Back in the game

I am back to my full time mode. I have just signed a one-year contract to be a communications manager for a project to develop small and medium enterprises (SME) in Indonesia. There goes my being a freelancer for the time being.

The process was strangely smooth. It took less than two weeks from the first time I heard about it to the time I signed the contract. The interview, the background check, the talk about administrative stuffs – all flowed very smoothly.

All I can make of it is that it was meant to be.

Out of the blue this friend called. She was offered the job but she did not want to do it. Then as she put it, she had a eureka moment – she thought of me. Who would be more excited about an SME project more than I? She was right. So I contacted the guy.

When I spoke to the guy (my current employer) for the first time over the phone, it was obvious that I was unsure about the “full time” part. He gave me until Friday to tell him whether I want to be interviewed.

On Friday I had made up my mind: to say no. Then I had a small chat with another friend. It was such a brief and small chat – I was sitting on the couch while she was doing her make up. I told her I would say no and she said “why not? Bla bla..” then I changed my mind. Ok, I will do it. Just like that. I felt like I was not even thinking. It was an automatic decision. (It’s the coffee, I had not had one that morning, therefore I could not think straight. Good timing. (or was it the durians?))

The rest is history.

I would like to thank those two friends in particular – one who told me about this job opening and the other who told me to forge ahead just when I had decided not to. You know who you are. Thank you. I owe you a big one.

Pray for me that whatever I will be doing will benefit the people who matter most in the project – the small medium enterprises of Indonesia.

Who bothers whom?

My family has this monthly gathering every month, where we pray and recite Al Qur’an together for about one hour. During the recital, my nieces and nephews expectedly run around, shout and laugh – in other words, having the usual good time. Then one of us so called adult would tell them to play somewhere else, away from us.

I wonder what goes on in their mind.

“Hey, what is wrong with you? This is how we always are. How is now different?”

“Why should we be the ones who go away, why not you?”

“Why should we be the ones who keep quiet, why not you?”

“You are saying we are noisy. What about you? At least we are laughing and having a good time. Are you?”

“What is wrong with having a good time?”

“We were here first. We have been playing here for hours. And suddenly you come and tell us to go away?”

And we say they are egocentric. And we say we know better.

I don't want to miss a thing

A classic by Aerosmith

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing,
Watch you smile while you are sleeping,
While you are far away and dreaming,
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender,
I could stay lost in this moment forever,
Where a moment spent with you is a moment I treasure,

(Chorus)
I don't want to close my eyes, I don't want to fall asleep,
Cause I miss you baby, And I don't want to miss a thing,
Cause even when I dream of you, the sweetest dream will never do,
I still miss you baby and I don't want to miss a thing

Lying close to you feeling your heart beating,
And I wondering what you are dreaming,
Wondering if it's me you are seeing,
Then I kiss your eyes and thank god we're together,
I just want to stay with you in this moment forever and forever forever

(Chorus)

And I don't want to miss one smile,
I don't want to miss one kiss,
I just want to be with you right here with you,
Just like this, I just want to hold you close,
I feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment,
For all of the rest of time

(Chorus)

It has been one of those days.

A welcomed distraction

This is one reason why not to have a webcam.


Playing around with the webcam of my sis's new notebook.

Oh well, fine, back to work.

(in the pic: sis, mom, me and nephew)

Friendship - 2

Well, I also had another rather opposing experience with another friend. I would not write the details of the recent incident out of my respect to that friend. (Let’s use plural, those friends, to refrain ourselves from using gender-revealing third person single pronouns)

Suffice to say that they did something that went against my definition of friendship or relationship, again and again, and again. Yet I still consider them as friends. In fact, I still consider them as my closest friends. But I used to be not without emotions. I used to be offended when these things happened. I used to ’accept’ but still grumbled.

But when that particular unfortunate incident reoccurred this very last week, I felt fine. I was truly okay. They ‘mistreated’ me but I was okay. They can do as they pleased but to me life goes on. I just moved on to the next thing to do.

And I still consider them as friends - more than ever - and wish them well. I still care for them deeply but I am letting go of my expectations on them. They will return when they want to return, when they need to return.

I am letting them be. I am letting me be. I am letting us be. And move on to whatever thing that is in front of me right now. Enjoying what I have. I did not realize how much easier life can be with such attitude.

That night after the incident, I did my prayer. I felt fine. I told God about my experience. I told Him I felt fine and recited a prayer for that friend. I felt God was smiling and nodding at me. I smiled back. It was a beautiful feeling.

I know I still have not graduated from the school of emotion. But thanks for that smile and the nod, God. It makes me feel I am going in the right direction. Hey, even God makes those small gestures to nurture the friendship.

Friendship

Friendship is indeed one of the most valuable experiences I have had this Idul Fitri. I sent out SMS and e-mail to quite a number of people – many of which I have not met or even talked to for some time.

I have many surprising responses from old friends and acquaintances – short but nevertheless sweet. It was a beautiful experience to receive those responses, to get reacquainted once again.

It reminded me a of quote that a friend of mine Philip wrote in his blog as he was remembering a late friend of his whose departure was so soon and sudden.

He said, “As time goes by, I find the reason for my deep grief. Dicky always took time to greet me, here in my weblog or through emails. He dropped me a line or two, posted comments on my blog or sent emails."

Philip then added, "Such a ‘little thing’ I realize now is important in every relationship. Dicky showed me the true meaning of ‘care’. Email, SMS, a buzz on Yahoo messenger, comments on weblog, are meaningful in nurturing friendship.”

He is right. Those small gestures are meaningful in nurturing friendship. Thanks for sharing, pal.

Happy Eid Mubarak 1427H

Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him, reported:

A person came to Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) and said: Who among the people is most deserving my companionship (of a kind treatment from me?) He said: Your mother. He, again, said: Then who (is the next one)? He said: It is your mother (who deserves the best treatment from you). He said: Then who (is the next one)? He (the Holy Prophet) said: It is your mother. He (again) said: Then who? Thereupon he (The Prophet (peace be upon him)) said: It is your father.

Hadith number in Sahih Muslim [Arabic only]: 4621

Happy Eid Mubarak 1427H

May we all be among those who are able to open our eyes and heart to first and foremost be true to ourselves.

Warmest regards to your mom and dad. Tell them they've done one hell of a good job bringing you up.

Just like the roots of a mangrove tree

A friend was telling me in her e-mail, "I saw a mangrove tree at the Botanic Garden and was reminded of the mangroves we saw at the Singapore Botanic Garden. Those are the trees that drop roots from the branches so they grow both up to the sky and down into the ground. Do you remember them?"

I told her I love the way she described how the roots of mangrove drop from the branches - "so they grow both up to the sky and down into the ground".

It sounds very much like what we humans are supposed to do as well - to grow both up to the sky and down into the ground.

Too much of a coincidence

I visited a funeral of a dear friend’s father today. It was Sunday morning and yet it took me about an hour to get there. I had not slept well the night before. But I did not care. I ‘had to’ go. I needed to go. It was too much of a coincidence. And I shall tell you why.

She was a student of mine about three years ago. We kept in touch once in a while but never really got to talk. She joined my client’s company just when I was about to start my sabbatical. So we never really got a chance to work together either.

About three weeks ago, I was meeting that ex-client of mine (her supervisor) for lunch and there she was in the same restaurant. We sat together - she, my client, another friend and I - and we had a good laugh. I promised her that we would have our own coffee.

And we did. We met last Wednesday evening. We had a good long conversation over dinner and coffee –about everything and about nothing. I enjoyed every minute of it. (I really did, Rin, I did not even need to try or to pretend ;)) Such a lovely loving person.

Last night I came home at about midnight and I could not sleep. I did my prayer. During which I received her SMS. Her father passed away due to sudden heart attack.

Now tell me I did not need to go the funeral – after all the recent series of unexpected encounters. It was too much of a coincidence.

So I went there this morning. I learned that her father was a great man, judging by the strong positive impressions that I gathered from people who attended the funeral.

Her father just arrived from a social project trip last night, broke the fast at home, did his night prayer and felt unwell. He went to the hospital. And the rest is history.

Such a peaceful parting process in the last week of the holy month of Ramadhan. He must have been an extraordinary man.

I met my friend briefly – there were so many people –, said my prayer and expressed my condolences. Then I went home.

I am not sure what to make of this. I am still unsure why we need to meet after all this time. And why now? What can I do for her? What can I learn from her? I am still unsure. I know there is something. There has got to be something. This is too much of a coincidence.

Stay strong. Your father is in good hands. And so are you.

"Tak perlu memiliki"

Apology to the non-Indonesian readers, this time it is an Indonesian song, sung by Rida Sita Dewi. The lyrics is so beautiful and can be interpreted in various ways. Just like every other thing in life. No right or wrong. Just different. Just varies.

I have my own interpretation - I have more than one. And I dedicate this to you. To You. Thanks.

Dingin bayu tak menjadikan 'ku ragu
Kedamaian t’lah lama ada di kalbu
Walau ‘ku melangkah sendiri, jiwaku tak sepi
Kudapat apa yang kucari dan tak harus kumiliki

Rinduku mencair dalam rintik air
Bagai selimut kaca yang menemani tidurmu
Kasih, kubicara dalam sunyi senja
Hadirku tanpa kata, tanpa satu rahasia lagi

Ketulusan tak pernah berjejak pinta
Janji fana, manis kata dunia, semua akan berlalu
Sepi yang mereka sangka sebuah siksa
Hampa yang mereka duga akhir segala-galanya

Rinduku mencair dalam rintik air
Bagai selimut kaca yang menemani tidurmu
Kasih, kubicara dalam sunyi senja
Hadirku tanpa kata, tanpa satu rahasia

Apa yang kausebut sejati, jadi milikmu kini
Karena apa yang kaucari, tak perlu kaumiliki

Sekeping damai surga yang hadir di jiwa
Jadi milikku selama dengan mencintaimu

Rinduku mencair dalam rintik air
Bagai selimut kaca yang menemani tidurmu
Kasih, kubicara dalam sunyi senja
Hadirku tanpa kata, tanpa satu rahasia

Cintaku mengalir tak akan berakhir
Tak perlu kaumengerti arti ketulusan ini
Cintaku mengalir tak akan berakhir
Tak perlu kaupahami arti keyakinan ini

Arti ketulusan ini, arti keyakinan ini

"For mom, dad and my little sisters.."

The conversation happened the other day when my sister visited a doctor with her nine years old daughter.

The doctor was looking at my niece when suddenly he asked her, “Do you often recite al-fatihah (the first surah in Al Qur’an which is said to be the mother of all surah)?”

She said. “Yes.”

He asked again, “for whom?”

To which my niece innocently and casually answered, “For mom, dad and my younger sisters.”

Ooowh. And I suddenly felt like the most egocentric person in the whole earth. When was the last time I did that? She does it all the time and I cannot remember when was the last time I recite a surah for other people.

The doctor turned his head to my sister and said, "You know, if and when you go to heaven, it will be because of your daughter and her prayer for you."

Tell me, when was the last time you recite a verse from the quran, the bible or whatever for your mom and dad? When was the last time you pray for them?

Program anak asuh

Friends, this is a program that is organized by a dear friend of mine, Gantina, to help ensure needy children can enjoy their education. It is a small and personal project worth supporting. Anybody who wants to participate in the program can e-mail me and I shall provide her details.

Apology to non-Indonesian readers for the proposal is in Indonesian.



Additional note from Gantina:

kami memberikan laporan kegiatan via email secara berkala:
- per bulan,
- per semester dan
- per tahun.
Detil jenis laporan tercantum di dalam proposal slide.

Ttg seleksi anak asuh, sampai saat ini metodenya masih seperti ini:
1. Sosialisasi program ke sekolah2 (Okt '06 - Feb '07)
2. Kandidat mengisi & mengembalikan formulir pendaftaran (Feb-Mar '07)
3. Seleksi administrasi & interview (Apr - Mei '07)
4. Pengumuman hasil (Mei - Jun '07)

Syarat administrasi umum:
1. Muslim
2. Dari keluarga tidak mampu
3. Prestasi akademik baik (minimal 7.0 selama 1 tahun)

Tentang memilih anak asuh
Untuk sementara ini pemilihan anak asuh yang diterima berdasarkan jumlah konfirmasi dana yang dari pihak donatur untuk suatu tahun ajaran.
Jadi kita dapet konfirmasi dulu budgetnya, baru cari anaknya.

So far kita udah dapet konfirmasi untuk 12 orang anak.
Jadi mungkin untuk saringan ke-1 akan kita ambil 20-25 anak untuk ikut interview.
Kalo mau milih anak bisa setelah ada hasil interview (sekitar bulan april 2007).

Untuk tahun ajaran depan sih udah sekitar 30-an anak yang menyatakan keinginkan untuk mendaftar (tingkat SD-SMP). Dan kemungkinan masih akan bertambah karena kita sosialisai sampe Februari 2007.

Mudah2an bisa dimengerti. Tapi kalo mau tanya lebih lanjut juga bisa hub aku langsung kok.

salam
Gantina


Start doing something. Anything.

Losing my profession

A slight modification of REM’s losing my religion – which I sometimes think I have lost several times in my life

If you really know me in person these days, you might be one of those persons who wonders “So what does she do anyway nowadays? What is her actual profession?”

I told my friend earlier today as I was sending her my notes on the religious discussion I attended: “I think I have lost my profession. I am not sure what it is anymore.”

Her answer could not have been better, “I thought your profession was (to be) “a happy person”. Stay “a happy person”-lah. It is the best profession in the world!”

She is right. I forgot. Thank you, Ta, for the reminder. A good friend.

I supposed Quraish Shihab was right when he said environment (friends) is the most important thing. It is my environment/friends who make me or break me, who has made me what I am today. Thank you, friends.

- Gee, this is so in line with your interpretation on my description of that box and stairs in the desert, Ta (This is another 'Ta’). Without the dates (kurma) tree, of course. I do believe it is the people around me that have made me what I am today. Spot on, girlfriend. -

A happy person

I had the nicest introduction from a friend yesterday.

I went to her office and met some of her colleagues. “Eva,” she said, “this is so and so the managing director, this is so and so the account director and this is so and so who is a manager here.”

“And this is Eva,” she continued. “She used to work for such and such and such and such PR consultancies, and she is now..”

She paused for a bit before she added, “a happy person.”

We laughed. But I really like that. The only definition of me that she could come up with was ‘a happy person’. I like that. Thank you. I could not have said it better myself.

So sorry

I had a dream two nights ago. A dream that set my mood yesterday – although nobody noticed (except the two friends whom I (always) confide in – my dear old personal ‘trash can’).

In the dream, I was having a good time. I chatted. I laughed. I remember feeling happy. Somebody hugged me from behind, as a friend. I thought it was that person whom I am quite close at the moment.

I continued being happy and having a goodtime. Until that person passed in front of me. So, I thought, who was it that has hugged me from behind?

I turned around. It was you. You looked sad. You are sad – in the dream and I know for certain in real life as well.

We used to be close friends. I used to be there for you and you for me. You are still there for me but I am not anymore. You are going through the toughest times of your life. You have told me your stories. Yet I have chosen not to be part of it. I have chosen to avoid being there for you.

I am so sorry. I am so selfish. I am so sorry. I woke up. The dream was a wake up call.

The following morning, I opened my computer and logged in to my yahoo account. First priority was to say hi to you. To ask how you are doing. Buzz.

You were unwell. You were restless. Your world has been turned upside down. And I chose not to be there for you. Hope it is not too late for me to once again be a friend to you.

Happy birthday

To one of the most loving and lovable friends I know.
Wishing you the best God can ever give to you, or anyone. Always.

Pic: Those two personal angels of yours

Travel note: Umroh

Last week I took a one-week trip to Mecca and Medinah in Saudi Arabia to do what the Moslem called Umroh. Coincidently, I went at the start of fasting month of Ramadhan. There are so many things I want to share with you, but I have to choose. Otherwise, I will bore you to death with the details.

The word “umroh” means “to enrich one’s soul”. Every single ritual we do during Umroh is full of symbols that lead to enriching our soul. So there I was. Trying to enrich my soul. To find the peace that is often lost in the midst of my everyday life. To rediscover my faith. To talk to God. To talk WITH God.

I brought my usual prayer book. But without meaning to be arrogant, I found that it was more suitable for me to just say what I want to say with no help from any book. Just say it with my own words, from the bottom of my heart, directly to Him, as frequently as I can.

The most solemn times were the middle of the nights where I walked around ka’bah by myself. I did not even have any specific prayer or wishes, except to communicate with God, to renew my promise to always be in His Godly environment, and if I may, to be one with God. I did not have a specific prayer. I did not have to. He knows.

And how I love being there during the fasting month of Ramadhan. You should see how packed the mosques were at any time of the day. You should see how people sitting side by side regardless of their socio-economic status or their origins.

You should see how people gather to break their fast, and they always bring more food than they need – to share with others. I came to the mosque with nothing but water and I ended up with a handful of dates, yogurt, Arabic coffee and a huge chunk of bread. How beautiful is the spirit of sharing. Love it to bits.

Of course, there are still a lot to be learned. I still need to find my balance. Compared to other people, I shopped less and I have very few interests in the city tours that we did or with the lengthened chitchat. I just wanted to focus on my prayers and invocations. I was worried whether my comfort with being alone with God was getting too far.

I also have lost my temper a couple of times. I still could not stand people being too laid back about schedule and appointments – I find it disrespectful to other people. I still could not hold myself from protesting of whatever I think is unfair or unprofessional (based on my perfectionist standard).

But all in all, it was truly a worthwhile experience. This was the third time I went to Mecca. This time it does feel different. A friend whom I met during the umroh asked whether I have found what I came for. I would gladly say yes. Now I need to keep my promise to God: to always be in His Godly environment.

Thank you God, for everything, for always. You are indeed very kind.

PS: I traveled with Quraish Shihab and took some short notes of his speech. Those of you who want to read the note, please e-mail me so that I can e-mail it to you.