This is my confession

This will be my most blunt (should I say “bluntest”?) and 'heaviest' article so far. But I need to say this out loud. There is something you need to know about me.

I am a Moslem. I have been one since birth and am still comfortable with it.

But I do believe that religion is something personal. So what is comfortable for me may not be for you. I respect all people for their religion or belief system, regardless of what belief system that may be, as long as they do not harm other people.

My life has been a roller coaster of a spiritual journey. There are things I did in the past that I am not very proud of. My stay in Seville was a way for me to rethink and rearrange my life. I have gained so much more. Praise the Lord.

I feel like I am taking two lessons while I am in Seville: one is the lesson in Spanish language and the second is the lesson in life. True life, as intended by God, or so I believe.

I have been slowing down, I have been listening to my heart more, I have been reading books or any write-ups on spiritualism. I have been taking the day as it comes and feeling thankful for it.

I have been meditating and praying more – asking God to forgive me and take care of me for the rest of my life – so that at the end of this life, He will let me enter and stay in His eternal kingdom.

I now believe that only by totally surrendering to God that we will find true peace and happiness. But again, that is me. As I said, belief is personal. You have every right to feel differently. You can believe whatever you want as long as you do not bother other people. I am fine with that.

When I was chatting online, my friend asked me whether I am in love because I sounded so positive. Yes I am. I am in love God and whoever loves Him.

I am struggling with my future articles. I still want to share my thoughts and feelings with you but I do not want to scare you with my seriousness. So, please bear with me when I do not write something for so long.

“I pray God the Omnipotent to place us in the ranks of his chosen, among the number of those whom he directs in the path of safety, in whom he inspires fervor lest they forget him; whom he cleanses from all defilement, that nothing may remain in them except himself; yea, of those whom he indwells completely, that they may adore none beside him.”
-A quote from Imam Al-Ghazali-

Active listening

I passed by a Spanish elementary school the other day. I saw the children coming out and being greeted by their parents. They chatted passionately. The children talked about their day at great length while the parents listened lovingly. That is listening.

And you should see how my eight year old niece is when she is listening. It seems like all parts of her body are directed to you. She nods at the right time. She smiles and laughs whenever something amuses her. And her eyes -- her round brown beautiful eyes -– never stray away from you throughout the whole conversation. The eyes literally glow out of enthusiasm. That is listening.

As with other children, most of the time she is naughty, except when her mother is sick or tired. Incredible. She listens and knows what the mother is communicating to her, even without saying a word or by saying very few words. That is listening.

It is amazing what we can learn from parents and children. Yet many of us so called adults often struggle and, thus, take special courses on active listening. Even that only works occasionally. How sad is that?

Sometimes I think children are the most human of all human. Sometimes I think it is us who should learn more from the children, and not the other way around.

A lot of time in our hands

Still about the Spanish language. Two very different articles – one after the other. Imperatives are great, but when it comes to verbs in general in Spanish language, I cannot begin to understand it. Why do we need so many different forms of verb anyway?

Do you know that there are about thirteen different tenses in Spanish language? And for each tense, the verb varies depending on the subjects (six variations in every verb for every tense - see the complication here?).

Of course, as if that is not enough, there are numerous irregular verbs after that. And do not forget the other verb forms like infinitive, gerund and subjunctive. Top that with the masculine and feminine nouns plus the pronouns and where to place them in a sentence - before or after the verb.

See, that is why we need to get a full time job. So that we do not have too much free time in our hands and start to create such complications for our life and other people’s as well.

Kidding. You know that, right? Just kidding. Love the language. Love the city. Love the people. Pero, los verbos... oh, por favor!

No need for so many thanks and please

Is it not wonderful? That is how it is in Spanish language. Or so my teacher said. The language is so direct. Say what you want to say and be done with it.

Spanish language has many imperative words. So while we in English would say “would you be so kind as to giving me the book, please?”, the Spanish would say “Give me the book”. He he. And when that someone actually gives you the book, you do not generally say “thank you so much”. Instead, you just nod your head or say “ok”.

And nobody minds. Nobody would think it is rude. It is such a small favor that they do not consider it a favor at all and think nothing of it. It is something normal, no need to say thanks and please. As long as you say it with courtesy and with a smile, it is ok.

What a culture. Love it.

And so the Master has spoken

I told my friends about my story. It was a long serious story. And the only answer he gave me was:

Like Master Yoda said in the Phantom of Menace
"Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you."

So cool. Love it. Crazy guy. Perhaps that is why we are friends.

- I told you I would put it on my web! –

Respiremos profundamente..

Translation: let´s breathe deeply.

"Our breath is the bridge from our body to our mind. The element which reconciles our body and mind and which makes possible oneness of body and mind. Breath is aligned to both body and mind and it alone is the tool which can bring them both together -- illuminating both and bringing both peace and calm."

From The Miracle of mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hanh

When was the last time you pay attention to your breathing? When was the last time you realize that there is air coming in and out of your body?

Try it. It does not even have to be deep breathing. Just normal breathing. All you have to do is pay attention to it. Pay attention, feel blessed and don't try to control it. Just let it flow. Try it for a minute or two everyday. And let me know how you feel.

Ask, and thou shalt be given the answers

Ok that was not from the bible. It was just me talking.

But I do mean it. It is amazing how people get what they ask for when they really ask to God. Of course, it is a two way street. No such thing as a free lunch.

Once, I was walking home in one of those cold winter nights. I felt the freezing breeze all over my body. I asked God to grant me the knowledge of how to keep my body warm.

I think at that instant, I heard God saying: ¨Let's see: put on more layers of clothes, stay in, and turn on the heater. Helloww.¨

-he he, sorry, it has been one of those days-

But it is true though. Sometimes the answers are surprisingly simple that you do not realize that they too come from God.

All the subtle simple messages from God. So subtle that many people just let them pass by. What a waste. What a waste.

To give and to forgive

Aaah, 6 January 2006. In Spain, it is the day of the wise men - from the Wise men from the east in the Bible - or in Spanish: el dia de los reyes magos. It is the time when children (ok, adults as well) get their presents, not in Christmas from Santa Claus but on 6 Jan from the wise men. If you are here at this moment, you will see that it is indeed the time for giving.

By definition, ´to give´ means to make a present of. (courtesy of www.m-w.com). It is a time when people give presents to their loved ones, whether it is (mostly) the children, families or friends. But really, what we give is actually our love. It is truly a generous and sympathetic demostration of love, affection and attention.

What is interesting to me is that from etymology point of view, the word ´give´ shares the same root in the Old English with the word ´forgive´: gifan.

In a way, it makes perfect sense. When we forgive someone, we do give a piece of ourselves to that person.

Amazingly, it works both ways. When we give, we might also need to forgive them - if by any chance we do not get something in return, or even worse.

So people, remember: giving is a one way process, unfortunately. When we give, we give. We do not expect something in return, unless you are in somekind of a business deal. If you do get something, great. Do forgive them (and yourself), if you do not.

Though on a side note, I do believe there is such thing as karma. But this is between me (or us) and The Boss Upstairs, which at the end of the day is all that matters.

What a wonderful world

By Louis Armstrong.
(have to stop doing this and start writing a more original piece)

I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do
They're really saying I love you.
(Hola Chicas! :))

I hear babies cry, I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll never know
And I think to myself what a wonderful world
Yes I think to myself what a wonderful world.

-I love my life. Thank you, God-

Move on

A song by George Michael.

I've been in and out of favour
with lady luck
I´ve gotta tell you
I've seen things I never wanted to see




I've got to get back on my feet
I feel like I've been sleeping
Sweet, sweet time
Has been a real good friend of mine

Waiting for that change of season
Oh the winter's been so long
Searching for that rhyme or reason
You've just got to

Chorus:
Move on
Hold it together, move on
Life's so short, move on
Only time will set you free
Just like me, you move on
You put your tears behind you
Better get yourself where you wanna be
I think of all the days and nights I spent crying
And I move on

I've been in and out of favour with love
Because I gotta tell you
I've been things I never wanted to be

And then some angel called me up
He told me I was sleeping
Said "don't waste time 'cos even angels say good-bye"

Waiting for that change of season
Oh the winter's been so long
Searching for that rhyme or reason
You've just got to

(Repeat Chorus)

And oh, there goes another season
Getting hard to find a decent song to play
But oh, I guess I´ve got my reasons
Everybody thinks I'm doing a.o.k
They ought to know by now

Oh, that such a thing should make a mark on your life
And don't you think that maybe moving on good advice?
Move on
I tell you

(Repeat Chorus)

And life
She won't wait for me to move on
Put your feelings behind you
Better get yourself where you want to be
I think of all the days and nights I spent crying
Until my angel set me free

I'm gonna be lucky in love someday
I'm gonna be lucky in love someday