That other lesson I have learned

That is the lesson of life. I cannot begin to tell you how well worth the trip to Spain have been for me spiritually. I hope I am not being vain but I do believe God has blessed me with the time for myself to rethink of my life, to rediscover myself and more importantly, to discover Him.

I am a lot more in peace with myself. I have learned to accept myself more. I have traced-back my life. I have learned to accept, to forgive and to learn what I need to learn from my personality and my life.

I believe that we are living a “parallel” life in a sense.

On one hand, I have my personal ‘mission’. I want to understand life. I want to know what my purpose is. I want to always walk towards Him– the true meaning of Islam – to completely surrender to God. I will continue searching and learning. My objective is God – not out of fear of being punished in hell, not even for heaven, but for He Himself.

On the other hand, this does not mean I will live life as a hermit. I have my life to live. I love my work – public relations. I will continue to work on it professionally and sometimes personally for friends. I will continue to be a friend to my friends, a sister to my brothers and sisters, a daughter to my parents and all of those roles I have in my life. I might even continue to be a b*tch to some (There, Dit, I have said it. Happy?).

To me, to walk in the path of God is to live a life of compassion, of helping other people, or of seeing this world as one, while maintaining our focus on and only on God. My pursuit of God can and will go hand in hand with my ‘normal’ life. The essence of Sufism.

You see, there is more to Islam than just prayers, fasting and whispering the name of Lord with our lips. Religion is just a guideline along with some examples to reach a higher purpose. We need to know the story behind it, need to read between the lines and feel it with our hearts. We need to go beyond believing, to even go beyond knowing, and to actually experience it.

Until we have grabbed the essence and implemented the true meaning of what has been written in the Book, it is just lip service and we have not really practiced the religion.

Unfortunately my experience in the last couple of weeks have reminded me that I have yet a long way to go. My mood still swings from east to west as always. Small unimportant things still bother me. I still want, desire and expect too much. I still have a long way to go. But I am trying to improve myself each day - so help me God.

I am speaking of Islam because it is my way of life. But I think it applies to all religions. Please see the term religion in its widest sense possible, that is – according to my beloved online dictionary of Merriam-Webster – “a cause, principle, or system of beliefs held to with ardor and faith”. Whatever cause, whatever principle we hold so dear within us that governs our lives, that is our religion.

What a lesson I have been blessed with under the Spanish sun. Now one class is over. On to the next class and back to my old school: Indonesia.