“I cannot understand…”

My teacher used that phrase yesterday when she was talking about a certain group of people which was much too often accused of living an unhealthy way of life. They steal, rob, etc, or so the perception goes.

She was basically saying that she does not like, she hates, she wants to stay away, and she does not want anything to do, with them. All those could have been a very strong statement.

But she did not use those words. Instead she used the phrase “I cannot understand” – She cannot understand why those people act that way.

Nice, I think. Instead of having a final judgment, generalizing, or being direct about it, she puts the ‘blame’ on her. Like saying “It is me who cannot understand. Perhaps they have a good reason or background why they do things the way they do it, which I do not know. Perhaps if I get to know them better, I will understand better as well.”

I have heard so many times how negative people think of that group. It has (almost) become a prejudice. But when I heard she said it, it does not feel like one. She puts ‘the blame’ on her. She points the finger at her and not somebody else.