Twisted words, yes, I still hate them

I shall try to tell you a story without revealing the incidence. Suffice to say, I have been blamed for something that I have not done.

A friend (A – let us say, a her) has used me as an excuse when another friend (B - him) asked her why she has chosen X over Y: “because Eva has told me such and such”. Something that had nothing to do with me (anymore). What a meddling bitch I am, if I were to do it.

Luckily, B was kind enough to reconfirm it with me. I felt that my words were taken out of the context. Firstly, I might have said it a long time ago that it should have become obsolete information. My friend A, I believe, should be intelligent enough to know this. Secondly, that was not the whole thing that I said. I said, “such and such but of course you can give X a try. It would do you no harm.”

I know I am vague here but I hope you get the gist. My first reaction when I heard this was, well, certain swear words came to mind (and mouth). Then I calmed down, and explained what happened to B. B was kind enough to understand. We have been friends for a long time.

I was amazed by my emotion (blame the monthly female period for this). I thought I have calmed down but this incidence is just small reminder that I still have a lot to learn. It was also a reminder of what awaits me when I return ‘to the real world’ or when I come out of my sabbatical period.

Twisted words - how dangerous can they be. How should one respond to that? Should we defend ourselves whenever this ‘attack’ crops up? It can be very tiring. But if we do not respond, will that damage our name? Should we care?

No wonder the Prophet (may God bless him and grant him peace) once said that one of the things we need to be careful with is that we have between our ears (i.e. our mouth). No wonder that more than half of the 10 legacies of Hasan Al-Banna focused on verbal communications. No wonder that the great Al Ghazali has dedicated a whole book on “the evil of the tongue”. Twisted words - how dangerous can they be.

PS: Mind you, I may not be free from that myself, unfortunately. I am still learning.