I wonder what He has in store for me

Ever wonder what God has in store for you? I have. I am right now.

It has been almost three weeks since I have returned in Jakarta. Time sure flies. Life has been going pretty strange. This is what I have done: I have met quite a number of people. I have heard many updates from my friends about their life and 'challenges'. I have been spending time with my family. I have renewed my driving license. I went to the bank to get a new PIN number. I have written one proposal and one brochure. I am about to attend two sessions on healing and on spiritualism. I have been learning more about healing. I have been going out of town with my family to take care of family issues. Not bad for a first month back from sabbatical.

This is what I have not done. I have not made up my mind on what specifically I want to focus on – career-wise – in my life. I have not made any plan for my freelancing career. I have not completely unpacked my suitcase yet. I have not secured any project (and thus, income) for me for the next months. I have not returned to any particular routine. I have not done much exercise and yoga. I have not read as much as I used to back in Spain.

My life is so unorganized and unclear, yet I feel fine. This is so untypical of me. Which makes me wonder why He has led me to this path. I wonder, but I do not mind at all. To put it strangely, the only thing I worry about is probably the fact that I am not worried.

A friend of mine questioned why I needed to go so far for so long just to learn the obviously simple lesson that she had known all along: that we should just let life flows, that we should not think too much about too many things, and that we should enjoy things as they come. Lucky her. Stupid me.

Unfortunately, some of us need to travel a longer route to realize that. I am still traveling my road. I have not got there yet but I am getting there. Lucky me. Thanks, God. Owe you one (more).

Why the hell did you return anyway?

If you are not an Indonesian or you have never lived in Indonesia, I am pretty sure that you have heard about the condition of the country. Thanks to the International media and the multimedia/Internet technology. If you are an avid CNN viewer, then you might have a pretty strong view of Indonesia and probably pity those who 'are forced' to live there.

If you are an Indonesian or you happen to have the opportunity to live here, well, I need not say more about the country.

So that very question came from several dear friends of mine and my own sister: why do you want to return to Indonesia anyway when you have the option to live abroad? My answer - and I shall put it in bold: because I want to somehow help develop my country.

Cliché. Idealistic. Dreamer. Unrealistic. A big joke. Still, the answer came from the very bottom of my heart. So help me God.

PS: If anyone has a constructive concrete suggestion on how to do it, I am listening.

Freelancing! Freedom! And then what?

It is official. I have resigned from my full time position in my company, Maverick. It has nothing to do with the company. I love it to bits, I love my bosses, and I love my colleagues. I just want to have more room to decide what I want to do and what I want to focus on.

I am entering a new phase on my career. I am giving freelancing a try. I am free! (Call if you need a PR person - wink wink)

I was so confident of myself. I still am. Nevertheless, yesterday I was reading a book titled Working from Home and it dawned to me: I do not have anybody else to hang on to but myself. I do not have a corporate regiment that I can follow. I need to manage myself. I need to control my mood more. I need to think of my income target. I need to have a plan.

My high-geared brain is doing its thing again, fueling the worries within. I wonder how far I should plan and how far I should just let life flows – where do I need to draw the line between them? See how complicated my brain works? Maybe my friend was right. I do think too much. I can feel God smiling at me and saying 'gotcha'.

I suppose freedom has its price to pay. Just like money, power and everything else, freedom is not and should not be an end. We cannot make freedom our objective. It is a means to an end.

The more important question now is: what will I do with my freedom? A question unanswered. Without trying to sound arrogant, sometimes I feel that I am blessed with having too many options or ideas. It is a luxury, I know, but is still a challenge for me. I need to decide on what I want to focus on and to prioritize things. Otherwise, I will soon be tired once again.

So let’s do it one step at a time, shall we? For now, I am entering a new phase on my career. I am giving freelancing a try. (Call if you need a PR person - wink wink)

Happy birthday to a friend

… a dear friend, a beautiful person.

I know you like this song. This is the only song that I have ever heard you sing along to.

Losing my religion
by: REM

Life is bigger
It’s bigger than you
And you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
The distance in your eyes
Oh no I’ve said too much
I set it up

That’s me in the corner
That’s me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don’t know if I can do it
Oh no I’ve said too much
I haven’t said enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

Every whisper
Of every waking hour I’m
Choosing my confessions
Trying to keep an eye on you
Like a hurt lost and blinded fool
Oh no I’ve said too much
I set it up

Consider this
The hint of the century
Consider this
The slip that brought me
To my knees failed
What if all these fantasies
Come flailing around
Now I’ve said too much
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

But that was just a dream
That was just a dream

Have a peaceful birthday - full of simple happiness and love. If only you realized how precious, gifted and blessed you really are. Take care.

Home at last – thank you, Spain

I am home at last in Jakarta.

When my aircraft was taking off from Madrid airport, my sister asked whether I wanted to say goodbye to Spain. I said no because I am returning here someday. After a short pause, I added, “but I do want to say ‘thank you’ to Spain. Thanks for all the experience and lessons.” Not goodbye, but thank you.

The journey home itself was incredibly smooth. All the problems that I had projected did not turned into reality (fortunately) - the carrying of the luggage from the hotel to the car, the car itself, the check in process, the overload baggage and the complication with the immigration as well as the tax refund office.

I got teased a bit (by God, who else) though when my flight MAD-BKK was delayed. We did not know whether we would be able to make it for our connecting flight. We did at last but barely. We were among the last passengers to board the aircraft and it was already a last call. It was too close for my liking. I was about to lose my temper but then I managed to return to my “oh well” state. A taste of what is to come.

Then home at last. My brothers, sister, nieces, nephews, etc welcomed us home – not sure whether my nieces and nephews were more excited about us going home or about getting their presents. They made a banner for my sis (their mom) “welcome mommy”. They quarrel about who gets the best present. Jakarta is still with its traffic jam and lack of discipline among the drivers. My cat is still as fat and lazy as ever. There was a lot of interchange of SMS with friends. I started to work out whom I should meet and when. Nothing has changed much. It feels like the home that I know.

Spain was a training ground for me. It was a bit like – but on a much smaller and insignificant scale – a hermit monk in his monastery. Now it is time to practice what I have learned so far.

There was no goodbye to Spain. Only thank you.

PS: book read during the journey home: The pilgrimage by Paul Coelho. Recommended.

Andalusia, Catalonia and the Basque Country

It has just occurred to me that I have chosen the most interesting places in Spain to visit, with all due respect to the other regions. I went to Andalusia, Catalonia, the Basque Country and Madrid.

Madrid of course, is the capital of Spain. Enough said.

Andalusia, Seville in particular, has practically been my home in Spain. I met most of my closed friends there. I spent enough time there to have a strong emotional link with the region. The beauty of the region, the festive atmosphere, the passion, the informality, the familiarity and warmth of the people (plus the extreme cold (with few proper heating) and the extreme heat even in Spring (sigh)) will be in my heart forever. It was a perfect place for me to loosen up and to get more relaxed about life (my boss would love reading this).

Catalonia and the Basque country have been... – how do I say this without being too political and without touching the sensitive issue? Impossible. Ok, Catalonia and Basque are the two regions in Spain who have openly been stating that they want more independence. Sounds familiar if I tie it back to Indonesia. Yet I was there in both regions and I loved the place. The people, the scenery and the atmosphere were just as welcoming and glorious as any other places.

I wonder why I had the urge to go to those regions. There has to be a lesson in tact. The only thing I can think of is that I should be able to draw a parallel line with what has happened in my country and its restless regions. The people and the region are just as beautiful as any other regions. Nobody wants war or problems. If only we try to understand each other better, if only we can find a way to solve the problem and live peacefully hand in hand.

[Many stories. This is what happens if I am allowed too much free time while, for instance, waiting for my mom and sis to arrive]

PS: Just incase you want to travel to San Sebastian, the Basque Country, the Pension that I stayed in is to die for. It is called Pension Amaiur.

Adios to the Lonely Planet

Today I said goodbye to my travel bible, Lonely Planet (LP) for Spain. I have left it (not deliberately of course) at the Madrid Airport.

What a timing, though. Having spent almost the whole six months together, he (book is masculine in Spanish) has decided that it is time to part with me.

Perhaps he thinks I am a big girl now. That I can go about on my own. Or he thought that I would not need him any longer and he would only be an extra burden in my over-packed luggage (oh that is where you are wrong, LP – sorry, yes, I do talk to non-humans – animals, book, car, and stuffed animals)

Hope he will find a new travel companion and will be just as helpful as he was to me. Snif.

More on the visa extension

Additional note to the story regarding the extension of my visa.
(Written at the Barcelona Airport, 23 May 2006, 11.00am)

I have been traveling a lot lately within Spain and the statement that I will not get into trouble with the airport’s immigration has turned out to be an understatement.

Let us just say that I have had more opportunities (1) to practice my Spanish with the immigration officers on more than one (or a thousand) occasion(s). (2) to keep smiling and being calm despite of the situation (3) to still get away with it! Hey hey, woo hoo! Looks like I am really a “Spanish” now.

The immigration officer in the Barcelona airport earlier today told me that it turned out that I do have my residential card in Seville, despite the fact that I have told them I have moved to Barcelona. Life would have been much easier if I had known that before.

I can hear my heart saying “I told you that you should have tried your luck going to the foreigner office again when you returned to Seville”. (She did actually, I just did not listen and went about doing other things). All the should-have, would-have, could-have – which has always been among my least favorite terms in the world.

No matter. Not important. I can get away with it :) And I am about to meet my beloved mom and sis in an hour. The thing with the immigration – so not important now.

PS: I still have two phases to go though: from Barcelona to Madrid, and Madrid to home. We shall see what will happen then.

Beware of Rattlesnakes

My friend forwarded this official internal e-mail from his company. Just to show me how interesting life can be at his office.

SVLers,

Please keep your eyes open these days as you walk around the site, especially the more rural areas - like the par course - as this is the time of season when we tend to see more rattlesnakes around the site grounds.

Fortunately, rattlesnakes try to avoid people. However, sometimes people get in the rattlesnake's way and the snake's reflex is to warn with the trademark rattle and sometimes strike. You should always give snakes the right of way.

Trying to determine if a snake is a rattlesnake is not always the best solution. (Eva - I love this part best :)) Baby rattlesnakes often have not developed their rattles yet; and baby rattlesnakes are also not in control of the amount of venom they release, thereby making their bites much more dangerous.

Encounters: If you encounter a rattlesnake on site, please call Security at (this number – deleted).

Bites: If you are bit by a rattlesnake onsite, please call the Emergency number at (this number – deleted).

Nice, uh? Take care, pal.

Appreciation and pride

A small and rather ridiculous example – but it is true, which makes it even more ridiculous. I was made the Indonesian blogger of the week by A Fatih Syuhud. Thanks. It feels nice to be appreciated and acknowledged. I feel, well, proud.

Then I thought, my God, if this ‘small’ thing can make me feel proud (with all due respect to Fatih and his much appreciated blogger of the week column), no wonder I have not won any Academy awards or Noble prize yet. I do not think I can handle it just yet – not to mention I have not done anything to deserve them but that ‘small detail’ is beside the point.

I cannot imagine how those people must have felt – either indifferent because of their humbleness or their ego has blown up bigger than the world plus heaven and hell combined together.

Someone (I think it was the Prophet) said that praises and appreciation is a double edge sword that can be much more lethal than criticism and hurt. With criticism and hurt, it is ‘easier’ to feel humble, to feel small and to remind ourselves of the greatness of God – you know, when people are in a deep sh*t, there is a good chance they go to God to ask for guidance and strength.

But not many remember God and ask for His guidance when all goes well, when they are successful, and when all works the way they want it to be. At these, times, we would say, “Yeah, that is me, all me, nothing but me.”

What a deceitful and dangerous place to be. Forgive me Lord. All praises should go only to You and nobody, or even nothing, else.

Mom, I am coming home

Saving the best for last. One ultimate thought before I leave Spain. Just want to say this. I am coming home.

- Always mom’s and daddy’s little girl –

That other lesson I have learned

That is the lesson of life. I cannot begin to tell you how well worth the trip to Spain have been for me spiritually. I hope I am not being vain but I do believe God has blessed me with the time for myself to rethink of my life, to rediscover myself and more importantly, to discover Him.

I am a lot more in peace with myself. I have learned to accept myself more. I have traced-back my life. I have learned to accept, to forgive and to learn what I need to learn from my personality and my life.

I believe that we are living a “parallel” life in a sense.

On one hand, I have my personal ‘mission’. I want to understand life. I want to know what my purpose is. I want to always walk towards Him– the true meaning of Islam – to completely surrender to God. I will continue searching and learning. My objective is God – not out of fear of being punished in hell, not even for heaven, but for He Himself.

On the other hand, this does not mean I will live life as a hermit. I have my life to live. I love my work – public relations. I will continue to work on it professionally and sometimes personally for friends. I will continue to be a friend to my friends, a sister to my brothers and sisters, a daughter to my parents and all of those roles I have in my life. I might even continue to be a b*tch to some (There, Dit, I have said it. Happy?).

To me, to walk in the path of God is to live a life of compassion, of helping other people, or of seeing this world as one, while maintaining our focus on and only on God. My pursuit of God can and will go hand in hand with my ‘normal’ life. The essence of Sufism.

You see, there is more to Islam than just prayers, fasting and whispering the name of Lord with our lips. Religion is just a guideline along with some examples to reach a higher purpose. We need to know the story behind it, need to read between the lines and feel it with our hearts. We need to go beyond believing, to even go beyond knowing, and to actually experience it.

Until we have grabbed the essence and implemented the true meaning of what has been written in the Book, it is just lip service and we have not really practiced the religion.

Unfortunately my experience in the last couple of weeks have reminded me that I have yet a long way to go. My mood still swings from east to west as always. Small unimportant things still bother me. I still want, desire and expect too much. I still have a long way to go. But I am trying to improve myself each day - so help me God.

I am speaking of Islam because it is my way of life. But I think it applies to all religions. Please see the term religion in its widest sense possible, that is – according to my beloved online dictionary of Merriam-Webster – “a cause, principle, or system of beliefs held to with ardor and faith”. Whatever cause, whatever principle we hold so dear within us that governs our lives, that is our religion.

What a lesson I have been blessed with under the Spanish sun. Now one class is over. On to the next class and back to my old school: Indonesia.

On questions about boyfriends

To the thousands of people (well ok, not that many, but you know what I mean) who have persistently and relentlessly been asking me whether I have found myself a Spanish man, I will bluntly answer: no, at least not that I know of.

“In the middle of all those Spanish guys? Impossible that you have not encountered one.” It depends on what your criteria of a boyfriend are. Mine is not limited to just physical appearance – or as the Spanish say, that body of the firemen. Yum ;)

“Oh well, you are too picky.” Not sure about that. Well, yes, maybe, please allow me to do so. I want it to be once in a lifetime.

“Oh you have not opened your eyes enough.” A bit wider then how they are now, then everybody will think I am a sl*t.

“Oh you are too focus on your career.” Hello, I have not been working for almost one year. I have spent this last year for travelling and doing a lot of things but working. What career?

“Oh you want too much in life.” Don’t we all? You are just jealous ;)

Seriously, this is what I believe. I believe what is mine is mine. If I continue to walk His way, all others will come to me at their own time, and not the other way around.

In the meantime, I will use whatever is left of my lifetime to give my best to life, to God and to other people who cross path with me.

But thank you for your concerns. Pray for me as I shall pray for you that God will give what is best for us, according to His standard. He knows best.

Hm, I think these are the bluntest words I have ever said about me finding a boyfriend.

So you want to study Spanish in Spain?

Woo-hoo! Twenty-four weeks of studying Spanish have passed. Though I must admit that it has been a bit of a stretch for me, I do not regret it one bit. It has been a once in a lifetime precious experience for me. I still have about two weeks left in Spain but I will mostly be travelling. Not sure if I will access Internet during those times (yeah, right).

Anyway, if you want to put yourself in a similar boat of travelling to Spain and learning Spanish, here are some tips:

Pick the time. I personally like May – not too cold, not too warm.

Learn it all the way, if you can. Stay several months and get into the language and the culture.

Those who cannot stay that long, better learn something first in your own country and use your time in Spain to practice it.

If you do stay for several months, break your study into several phases and in between have a ‘travelling-only’ break.

Try different cities. Depending on what you want. I prefer to stay in one city for at least two months. Browse the Internet and pick yours.

Practice your Spanish. Of course, you say. But you would be surprise how many students do not speak Spanish outside of the class. So speak it, even to your English-speaking friends.

Do the tourist bits first. Do not leave it until the last minute (like me)

Ensure you have the proper visa. If you need to extend, do it as soon as you can and put the school adress instead of your flat. Long story.

Get yourself in touch with the locals. For instance, take a dance class outside of school with the locals (me, I took flamenco and yoga), get a job in a bar or horse stable (like my friend)

If you like a bit more 'challenge' than ordinary people (like me), take the DELE exam – is the only formal certificate of the language by the Spanish government

Discover yourself. It is a rare opportunity for us to be out of our ‘natural environment’. Learn something about yourself. Take time for yourself. For once, get to know yourself.

Be yourself. If you like partying, party on (keep a close watch on your money - it goes down pretty fast sometimes). If you like travelling, plenty of chance here. If you like to stay in the city and be alone, it is ok as well. Darling, you are in Spain. You can do what you want to do and you can be whoever you want to be.

Above all, enjoy your time. You will love Spain and the Spanish, I promise.

Pues, nada mas. Vuelvo a mi pais. Me alegre poder hablar Español (aunque no perfectamente) despues de estar aquí seis meses. Hasta siempre, España. Muchas gracias por todo. Era una experiencia inolvidable. Siempre te recordaré. Siempre te querré.

(That is it. I am returning to my country. I am happy to be able to speak Spanish (though not perfectly) after staying here for six months. Until later, Spain. Thanks for everything. It has been an unforgetable experience. I will always remember you. I will always love you.)

Ps: A bit of advertisement for my school Don Quijote, which is not bad at all. Recommended :), except for the taxi pickup reservation service – be a bit adventurous and grab yourself a cab or a bus when you have arrived at your city.

A dream of a better future - III

On my way home I could not stop thinking about this. Such an ignorant person I have been, living in the lap of luxury but still not giving not even a single cent to those children.

What good will this comfort of mine do if there are people or children around me – including the children of my maids and driver – have to drop out of school because their parents do not have enough money? What good is all these blessings that God has given to me – money, knowledge, experience, talent, social network – if I do not use them to help others, to help those who are not as ‘lucky’ as I am?

Another thing that was stuck in my mind is our tendency to stay in our current situation (people often blame it on ‘destiny'). It is a disease to us all. We busy ourselves with small things in life, we complain about many things in life but then we say “well, this is who I am, this is my condition, nothing I can do about it, it will not change that much.” My comment: Oh, I beg to differ. Stop whining and start doing something about it.

My friend kept telling me about her dreams. “Imagine if we can develop this system in our society. If we can apply this to many schools in many locations. The future generation will be much better than us.”

There are still a lot to be done. But at least that friend of mine has started to think that there is no use just blaming other people – be it the government, the senate, the rich business people, the NGOs -, while we ourselves have not done anything much. It is time to ask ourselves “Have I done anything? Is this the best I can do or can I go further? What else can I help with?"

The system and management of my friend’s organization is far from perfect. But I can also, vividly, see the happiness in the eyes of the children. She has helped bring that happiness in their eyes. I truly appreciate and respect her idea and passion. I am certain that her dream will one day turn into reality.

I would love to be part of that effort to turn the dream into reality. To be involved in the process, to make myself more useful and meaningful. Perhaps this is my way of answering the big questions of “So why am I put here in the face of the earth? For what purpose? Is this the best I can give to life? There must be more to life than this. If so, what's more?” Sorry if I am being a bit philosophical.

What is even better is the fact that she and her husband are successful business people. They have the capital (financial and non-financial) to do something for the community. A perfect balance. A true application of what Islam called – to belief in God and to do good for others. If only there are more people like my friend. Proficiat.

A dream of a better future - II

We arrived there at noon. The ‘class’ started at 1pm but there were already two girls there. One of the facilitators told me, “They cannot continue their education to junior high. The minimum entrance fee is Rp750,000 (USD75 - which is probably more than the monthly salary of the parents). How can their parents pay such amount of money?”. It was so sad. I cannot imagine me being a parent and needing to say to my child, “I am sorry, son, I cannot afford your education. You have to drop out of school.” Luckily there is a free open school in the village that provides classes once or twice a week. Much better than nothing.

At 12.30, the place was already filled with children of 4-12 years old. Some actually walked more than half an hour from their homes to participate in the class. Today the class was about singing and playing a traditional instrument named Angklung. For the thousandth time, the curiosity and the spirit to learn of the children amazed me. I cannot imagine needing to cut that off them.

The facilitator said, “Who wants to save their money?” Apparently they have a simple form of savings at the school. They saved some of their allowance. At the end of the year, they will collaboratively decide where they will donate the money. Some actually save up to Rp200 thousands. (USD20). The facilitator said that the idea came from the children.

"The last time we donated the money to a Christian-based orphanage, which was in need because the government has cut off their subsidy. We always choose to help those around us because God tells us to help our neighbors," he added.

The lesson continued. There was no explicit teaching of the so called “religion of Islam” in the class. What existed was the practical application of the values: that we need to get to know one another, that we need to help each other, that we need to act kindly, that we need to have self confidence and the belief in God, that we cannot give up and that we cannot stop learning. That God will not change the destiny of a person until that person changes it himself.

These values were also apparent in the facilitators. From the first time the children arrived, they greeted them warmly, full of smile. They played with them, they carried the children in their arms, put the children on their laps - all kinds of love that a child should receive. This helps build a child into a person of love and confidence.

A dream of a better future - I

This is a story I sent to my friends months ago. Now I want to share it with you. It is about my friend and her dream of a better generation. A long story divided into three parts.

Earlier today I went to Puncak, a resort area that is about one or two hours away from Jakarta, Indonesia. I wanted to visit an informal school for needy children that my friend organizes. That friend was with me in the car.

Along the way, she passionately talked about this five years old project. It started with the thought that not all children are able to go to school due to economic reason and that not all things can be taught in school. There are a lot of values that need to be planted from early years if we want to have better generations in the future.

‘We cannot change a child 100% right away. But perhaps they could be 30% better than their parents. Their children will be 50% better. Their grandchildren will be 75% better and so on. By the end of the fifth generation, they will be 100% better than our generation,” she said. “This is a long term project, but it needs to start now.”

We passed by a group small simple houses that basically did not have any space in between them. My friend continued, “Look at this. Right to left, front to the end, all we can see are houses. Where can the children play? There are gardens but they are private property of the city people and very few children can play there. Where can they play?”

Then we passed by a bunch of street hawkers and motor-taxi. She said. “We cannot expect those people to think far. Their thoughts are limited to what my family can eat today, what they can eat tomorrow. They simply think that their children are going to take over their work someday. Not more than that. The children are shaped to take over their job. (Without any meaning to undermine their job at all). How can the children develop themselves? I told the children, you can be somebody who sell simple things as fried tofu, but be a business owner of the fried tofu like Yun Yi (a famous tofu brand in Indonesia).”

“So not only they are poor economically, they also lack of information, they do not have a wider view of life. If they come face to face with ‘us’ the city people, we tend to undermine them. They too think of themselves as ‘lower’ than us. A status quo.”

Through a narrow street, my car came face to face with another car. I could not get through because there was a motorcycle parked in the middle of the street. The owner just sat by the street, indifferent to what happened. My friend commented, “You see, they do not feel the need or are not aware that they should move their motorcycle. Can we be angry at them? Not really, right? It is rooted within them. Nobody has taught them that it is not appropriate to do that.”

She continued, “That is why we should not teach them just science. We should also teach them how to socialize and to develop their self confidence, so that they will be respected. But respect is earned. We cannot respect another person just because we are fellow human. We should, but it does not work that way. We have to prove that we are worth respecting.”

700 million Rupiah a day

“Palestine has been boycotted. The people are hungry. The children cannot drink milk. We shall demo today, Sunday 7 May, 8.30am at HI. Prepare your donation. Please distribute.” I received this message through SMS today from a good friend.

Being away from Jakarta, I was curious about the result of the demo – or they call it: the act of peace: solidarity for Palestine.

It turned out that the demo has managed to gather Rp700 million (USD 70,000) in a day. A relatively large amount of money in such a short span of time, especially for Indonesia. Wow. Hats off to the organizer, hats off to the generous Indonesians.

In addition, the demo, which was attended by tens of thousands of people, was done in a complete peace. Wow. How cool is that.

I was also curious about the issue: the boycott of Palestine. I am sorry if I have been so out of touch. Anyway, so I searched in Google, CNN and BBC. Interestingly, I had a hard time finding the explanation of the issue. Perhaps I searched for the wrong term. “Boycott” may be too strong of a word. Perhaps 'they' are using a more politically correct word (and justification) for this. This is another issue, but still, wow.

I do not know enough about Israel-Palestine world debate to comment about it. That is not why I wrote this. I was just wondering: how can Indonesian people gather such a large sum of money in such a short day for Palestine? We seem to have a harder time helping our own country and our fellow countrymen. Wow.

Big city or small town?

I was living in Seville since 2 December last year until 15 April 2006 when I moved to Barcelona. I do not know the statistics but needless to say Barcelona is much bigger than Seville.

I was relieved when I moved to Barcelona. No offence to Seville, I love the city and the people – even my family in Barcelona said that I am in love with Seville (I am). Nevertheless, somehow I felt like I was breathing fresh air when I arrived in Barcelona. I supposed my friend was right when he said you can take the girl out of a city but you cannot take the city out of a girl.

True, until this long weekend. I went to a village where my family had a small hut. There was practically nothing to do except to read, to chat with one another or to work in the garden or on the new house. Almost all of the family members were there. We had a barbeque. I sat with the family’s dog watching the sun set.

I stayed there for four days and I felt fine. In fact, I think this has been my best time in Barcelona – closely matched by the dinner I had with a friend. So simple. So not “big city”.

So which do I like most? I am puzzled. My temporary conclusion: I need the liberty to move between city and smaller town or nature. It is like when we swim, we need to take our head out of the water to breathe.

This leads me to wonder: Why do I need to move so often? Why do I need to move to take a deep breath? Why can I not be comfortable in just one place? When will I settle down? Will I ever? Do I need to?

Who am I kidding? I guess deep down I must admit that I am still far from the true peace that I have been searching for.


PS: And I miss my country – my family, my friends and the FOOD.

Happy Kartini Day

A typical special day of Indonesia to celebrate how far women have travelled or to remind us how far yet they need to travel -- depending on our point of view.

Kartini was an Indonesian woman who lived during the beginning of the twentieth century whose mindset was much more advanced than other women in those days. I personally voted for other women figures during those days but I do respect her for her thoughts.

So here is to all the women in the world. A song by Lisa Standsfield called All Woman. A beautiful song.

She smiles at him as he walks through the door
She wonders if it will be okay
It's hard for her when he doesn't respond

He says babe you look a mess
You look dowdy in that dress
It's just not like it used to be
Then she says...

Chorus:
I may not be a lady
But I'm all woman
From monday to sunday I work harder than you know
I'm no classy lady
But I'm all woman
And this woman needs a little love to make her strong
You're not the only one

She stands there and lets the tears flow
Tears that she's been holding back so long
She wonders where did all the loving go
The love they used to share when they were strong

She says yes I look a mess
But I don't love you any less
I thought you always thought enough of me to always be impressed

(Chorus)

He holds her and hangs his head in shame
He doesn't see her like he used to do
He's too wrapped up in working for his pay
He hasn't seen the pain he's put her through

Attention that he paid
Just vanished in the haze
He remembers how it used to be
When he used to say

You'll always be a lady
'Cos you're all woman
From monday to sunday I love you much more than you know
You're a classy lady
'Cos you're all woman
This woman needs a loving man to keep her warm

You're the only one
You're a classy lady
'Cos you're all woman

So sweet the love that used to be
So sweet the love that used to be

We can be sweet again...

Ha ha, very funny, God

A personal story with the Spanish Immigration office. I will tell you the chronology, much easier.

Oct 2005 - The Spanish embassy’ visa section gave me a three month visa and said that I need to extend it once I arrive in Spain.

W1 Dec 2005 – Arrived in Spain

W2 Dec 2005 - Went to the immigration office in Seville. Stood in line for four hours. They said they would mail me a letter.

W4 Jan 2006 – No letter yet. Returned to the Office and they said I needed to wait a bit more.

W4 Feb 2006 – No letter yet. Returned to the Office and once again I needed to wait a bit more.

W4 Mar 2006 – No letter yet. Returned to the Office. They had changed the queuing system and I was late – twice.

W1 Apr 2006 , Monday – Returned to the Office. Stood in line since 7.30am. Waited until 2pm. Turned out that they had put a wrong address in my letter. I needed to return to set up an appointment with the Police.

W1 Apr 2006 , Monday – Returned to the Office. Stood in line since 7.30am. Made the appointment but the appointment was for 28 April 2006 – by then I would have left Seville for Barcelona. The man said then I needed to go to the Police office in Barcelona.

Yesterday – Cannot remember the names, let us call them Immigration Office A, B and C. Went to the Office A, which was the address given by my school. After waiting for almost one hour, Office A turned out to be only for the European Community. They said, go to Office B. Right. Went there. Another line – a shorter one though. They said, no, here is only for extending your student card, not to make one. So you need to go to Office C to make the student card. It was too late to go there because it closes at 2pm. Fine, tomorrow then.

Earlier today – Went to Office C. Wait for half an hour. The lady said it was too late for me to make a student card, because a student card needs five weeks to make and I only have four weeks left in school. She also said that I would have no problem with the immigration as long as I return to my country directly after my study, which is what I am planning to do.

So all these, to come to a conclusion that I need not do anything to extend my visa. I do not mind actually – my emotion was literally flat during the process. (is that good or bad?) In fact, I kind of enjoyed watching all other people (like myself) waiting in line. I spent my time reading, doing my Spanish exercises, talking to people or humming the song played by my ipod.

But I do think the whole process is not necessary. Or is it? Just for God to see what I have learned at my other school – the school of Life, or as my friend calls it: the school of emotion. So, how am I doing, God?

The First Time

Yet another U2 moment. You must have figured it out by now who is one of my favorite bands.

I have a lover, a lover like no other
She got soul, soul, soul, sweet soul
And she teach me how to sing.

Shows me colours when there's none to see
Gives me hope when I can't believe
That for the first time I feel love.

I have a brother, when I'm a brother in need
I spend my whole time running
He spends his running after me.

I feel myself goin' down
I just call and he comes around.
But for the first time I feel love.

My father is a rich man, he wears a rich man's cloak.
He gave me the keys to his kingdom (coming)
Gave me a cup of gold.

He said "I have many mansions
And there are many rooms to see."
But I left by the back door
And I threw away the key
And I threw away the key.

For the first time, for the first time
For the first time, I feel love.

Who died?

I will show you how ignorant a person can be. Example: me.

Seville is known to have one of the most exciting traditional Easters, or as they called it “La Semana Santa”, a whole week of processions and street parades. Needless to say, to commemorate the death and the resurrection of Jesus (apology if I have used incorrect terms, let me know)

So here I am, walking on the street with a friend, when I noticed that many women were wearing black. I asked my friend why they were wearing black and she said it was a dress for mourning – you know, when someone has died. Me being me, I asked leisurely and innocently, “Who died?”

You can imagine how my friend looked at me with a puzzled and amazed expression. Two seconds, and I realized. Oh. I see – as I crossed the road in the middle of hundreds of people carrying crosses and a big statue of Jesus and the cross as well as Mother Mary.

Just to show how ‘stupid’ I can be occasionally – otherwise, I am brilliant. He he, kiddin.

- This piece, I wrote especially for you ;) -

I shall miss you, Seville

A liberal translation of the previous text.

I cannot believe that the time has come for me to leave Seville. Time does indeed fly when we are having fun.

Thank you, everybody, for a once in a lifetime experience. You cannot imagine what I have learned and what has happened to me during my stay in Seville. My life there was like a dream but now I need to move on to the next stage.

My special thanks goes to:

My teachers and personnel of Don Quijote/Enforrex Seville for everything (here, In Spanish, we use the word ‘por’ and not ‘para’. I remember, Inma ;)): Alejandro (with ‘jota’), Ana, Carlos, Cati, Las Cármenes (Maria Carmen, Carmen Maria and Carmen), Cielo, Inma, Javier (with ‘jota’ as well), Lorena, Paco, Paloma and Silvia. You guys are truly like no other.

My friends in DQ, including (fufff, quite a lot) Danielle, Floor, Corinne, Ameer, Steve, Sam, Nat, Yuki, Caroline, Linn, Eric, Emely, Kirstin, Manu, Grazi, Hank, Michelle, Thierry, Judit, Mike, Tricia, Pat, Marco, Oswaldo, Fabio, Mauro, Erin, Amy and so many more.

My friends outside of DQ in Sevilla: Julio, Julián, Tania, José, Lola, Juan, Ana, Diego, Luciano, Ricardo, Maria and Jorge.

My family in Seville, of course – Yolanda, Darío, Antonio and Silvia (Silvia, for you, twice!). There is neither home nor family that could have been more perfect for me than yours.

And, last but certainly not least, my family and friends in Indonesia or anywhere else in the world that have always accompanied me throughout this time. Yes, I do realize how lucky I am (right, right, thanks to You as well, Lord)

I promise you that I will return to Seville and that you will always have me as your friend. I will miss you.

Right, boys and girls. That is it. Until we meet again - some time, somewhere, somehow. Take care. Wishing you a life full of love, peace and happiness.

Hugs and kisses

Te echaré de menos, Sevilla

Now, I apologize to all the non spanish speaking visitors. I promise I shall write the English version of this entry.

No puedo pensarlo pero ya el tiempo para salir de Sevilla ha llegado para mí. El tiempo de la verdad vuela cuando lo pasamos bien.

Gracias a todo el mundo por una experiencia única que puedo tener en mi vida. No podéis imaginar lo que he aprendido y que me ha pasado durante mi estancia en Sevilla. Mi vida era como un sueño, pero ahora necesito avanzar a la siguiente etapa de mi vida.

Agradezco especialmente:

A mis profesores y el personal de Don Quijote/Enforrex por todo (con ‘por’, no ‘para’. Me acuerdo, Inma ;)): Alejandro (con ‘jota’), Ana, Carlos, Cati, Las Cármenes (Maria Carmen, Carmen Maria y Carmen), Cielo, Inma, Javier (con ‘jota’ también), Lorena, Paco, Paloma, y Silvia. Efectivamente vosotros sóis de lo que no hay.

A mis amigos de DQ, incluso (fufff, muchos) Danielle, Floor, Corinne, Ameer, Steve, Sam, Nat, Yuki, Caroline, Linn, Eric, Emely, Kirstin, Manu, Grazi, Hank, Michelle, Thierry, Judit, Mike, Tricia, Pat, Marco, Oswaldo, Fabio, Mauro, Erin, Amy y mucho mas.

A mis amigos fuera de DQ en Sevilla: Julio, Julián, Tania, José, Lola, Juan, Ana, Diego, Luciano, Maria, Ricardo y Jorge.

A mi familia de Sevilla, por supuesto – Yolanda, Darío, Antonio y Silvia (Silvia, para tí, dos veces!). No hay casa ni familia que sean mejores para mí.

Y, la última pero claro que no es para menos, a mi familia y a mis amigos en Indonesia o en el resto del mundo que siempre me han acompañado. Ya lo sé que tengo mucha suerte. (vale, sí, a Tí también, Señor)

Os prometo que yo volveré a Sevilla otra vez y que vosotros siempre me tengáis como vuestra amiga. Os echaré de menos.

Venga, niños. Pues nada. Hasta siempre. Cuídate, ¿vale? ¡Que tengáis una vida que es llena de amor, paz, y felicidad!

Muchos besos y fuertes abrazos.

RUU APP: masih belum puas..

Nambah lagi ya. Masih berputar terus nih di kepala.

Saya jadi bertanya-tanya… sejauh mana pemerintah bisa menentukan dan mengatur “moralitas” bangsa, hingga ke cara berpakaian kita pribadi. Standar siapa yang dipakai? Soalnya standar berpakaian yang gosipnya bakal diterapkan itu tidak akrab dengan keluarga saya (Apa berarti selama ini bapak ibu saya juga turut memerosotkan moral bangsa? Nakal ya) Soalnya, saya sih gak ngerasa teman-teman saya jadi napsu karena pakaian yang saya pakai.

Yang saya khawatirkan… pembatasan apa lagi yang akan diterapkan kepada kita yang mengatasnamakan penjagaan moralitas bangsa. Sekali lagi, dengan standar siapa? Kenapa sih kita dipagari seperti ini? Padahal semua pakar psikologi keluarga bilang bahwa pemagaran anak terlalu ketat tidak baik. Dan saya belum pernah mendengar negara yang menerapkan peraturan ketat seperti ini bisa lantas meningkatkan 'moral' dan mensejahterakan bangsa.

Pada saat tingkat pendidikan dan pemahaman masyarakat semakin tinggi, kenapa malah menggunakan peraturan otoriter untuk memaksakan suatu norma masyarakat dengan mengatasnamakan kepentingan umum dan kehendak mayoritas? Siapa sih mayoritas itu? Kok kebanyakan orang (yang saya tahu) kayaknya termasuk minoritas?

"salahin" temen saya, dia yang membuat saya jadi berpikir dan berkomentar tentang ini. Dan kalau udah mulai berpikir.. gak bisa berhenti. Let's get the ball rolling .

RUU APP: Pak Polisi, aman gak pake baju ini?

Apology to all the non-Indonesian-speaking visitors, for I want to write this article in Indonesian languange.

Dua hari lalu, saya ngobrol dengan teman saya tentang RUU APP (Anti Pornografi dan Pornoaksi). Udah baca RUU-nya belum? Salah satu yang menarik perhatian saya adalah pasal mengenai cara berpakaian dan ciuman bibir di muka umum.

Awalnya saya pikir cara berpakaian saya aman dan gak situ-gitu amat. Tapi setelah mencermati baju yang ada di lemari saya, ternyata banyak lho yang tidak sesuai dengan ketentuan UU. Wah, gawat. Gak nyangka kalau selama ini saya sudah berperan aktif dalam merusak moral dan akhlak rakyat Indonesia.

Jadi kepikiran, gimana ya kalau pemerintah benar-benar menerapkan UU ini?

Yang pasti…

....koleksi baju saya jadi sangat mahal karena saya harus memperhitungkan denda yang harus saya bayar. Harga satu baju, misalnya celana pendek, stretch untuk olahraga, kaos kutung atau blus dengan kancing agak rendah, harus ditambah Rp200juta-1 milyar. Misal baju saya ada 10, maka biayanya berjumlah 2-10 milyar. Weleh.

…. ada (baca: banyak banget) teman saya yang harus merombak total koleksi bajunya. He he.

…. tenaga kerja bangunan atau supir angkutan umum yang gemar bertelanjang dada saat bekerja harus ditangkepin juga. Kecuali kalau ketentuan ini sebenarnya ditujukan terbatas untuk perempuan aja.

…. Tradisi cipika-cipiki (cium pipi kanan – kiri) saat ketemuan temen di mal bisa jadi risky business. Jangan-jangan kalau dilihat dari sudut pandang tertentu bisa disangka ciuman bibir lagi. Belum cipika cipiki dengan lawan jenis.

…. Saya harus kasih tahu temen-temen saya (non-Indo) yang memang kalau jalan amplitudo gerakan tubuhnya cukup tinggi. Kebiasaan, tanpa maksud mesum. Kasihan, harus belajar jalan dulu sebelum mampir ke Indonesia. Belum lagi harus beli baju baru. Tambah males aja mereka ke Indo.

Yang saya ragu… baju mana yang membahayakan dan mana yang aman. Kalau yang nyingkap hanya saat posisi tertentu (misal pas saya ngangkat tangan keliatan dikit pinggang, masuk gak? Kalau baju yang tidak terbuka tapi agak ngepas di badan, masuk gak?

Nanti jangan-jangan Polisi menegur saya lagi:, “Maaf, Anda kami tahan karena baju Anda, ehm, menonjolkan bagian depan Anda.” Wah, kalau yang itu mah, terus terang ya Pak, agak susah ditutupin. Apalagi kalau saya lagi agak ndut. Kecuali kalau saya pake selimut kemana-mana.

Repot juga ya. Mungkin paling aman, datang ke kantor polisi dan nanya.. Pak Polisi, aman gak pake baju ini???

Oh well

Yesterday I went to an introductory class of Zen. I was so late but I still wanted to go for some reasons unknown even to me. The lesson from the class that sticks to my mind most is: for whatever things that happen in life, relax, accept it and you will see things from a different light.

Well, what do you know.. Today was the practice session. It has been a strange day. Nothing has gone according to plan yet I do not mind. I said ‘oh well’ a lot today. I shrug my shoulders and went about doing other things.

I woke up and my ‘family’ here has gone to work. Oh well. We did not have hot water but I needed to wash my hair. Oh well. My friend and I were supposed to go to another town but we cancelled it because the weather was not good. Oh well. We were supposed to meet for coffee but she needed to work until late. Oh well.

I went to a café near my school, but I could only sat there for a little while because they were closing. Oh well. I went to an Internet café and even there my notebook could not connect to the network. Oh well. I went to another Internet café. I checked my e-mail but there were no new e-mails. Oh well.

I SMS-ed two other friends but they were out of town. Oh well. Another friend actually called to ask if I wanted to meet, yet here, I said no. Oh well. I wanted to stop by a fast food restaurant for a quick meal but they were all full. Oh well. I came home and my family was still out. I was alone in the house. Oh well.

Yet, today I felt much more peaceful and relaxed than these last few days, or even weeks. I sat down at a café and read Rumi’s Divani Shams, I shed a tear and somehow I felt relieved. I walked around the town – which I will leave in the next two weeks – and I could feel its beauty. I went into a church just to sit down and to stay silence. Again I shed a tear.

I went home and wrote this piece. I shed another tear. It is like someone was saying to me: “Now, have you got it? Relax, accept things as they are, and let life takes its own course. Life will take care of everything for you.” I have learned my lesson for the day. I am in peace with myself. I can feel it within me.

Now I understand what my friend meant when she said, "the next time you pray, dzikir or meditate, try to see yourself. Try to enter to your innerself instead of going out. Control your anxiety." It is all in us. When we search within, we shall find ourselves. And when we find ourselves, we shall find God.

Someone has all the luck

You are not tired of my chat conversation, are you? I promised this would be a short one.

My friend’s Yahoo Messenger status was: “do not know what to think”
Me: Well, think of me then ;)
Fr: About work I mean.
Me: Oh well, still, while you cannot think of work, think of me.
Fr: I do think of you occasionally, you know?
Me: Really? When?
Fr: Whenever I think, “somebody has all the luck”

I was dumb founded. Speechless. I have to admit, I am very lucky.

How many of us can and do actually ditch our work voluntarily, take a one year sabbatical leave, and travel to all sorts of places others can only dream of? How many of us can feel so confident that we will always find work that we like and that in fact work will find us – not the other way around? How many of us have heaps of family and friends who love us and whom we love? How many of us choose to work because we like it and not because we have to? How many of us have enjoyed and can actually feel this much love from God?

So what I am doing complaining about things anyway?

PS: And the truth is, if you can spend these few minutes browsing the Web and reading this entry probably in an air conditioned comfy room while sipping a hot cup of coffee or tea, then chances are you are not doing that bad either.

Slap slap

Another conversation with a friend (Fr). A reminder.

Fr: So what do you do now?
Me: Nothing much, really.
Me: Am bored half to death.
Fr: Count your blessings
Me: But I cannot help feeling bored. Well, I feel unproductive. Feel a bit guilty for having this much free time.
Fr: Then produce something while you are there
Fr: Within
Me: That, yes.
Fr: There is no excuse to be bored half to death then
Fr: You requested something and the universe granted your wish
Me: Ha ha, yes, I know. Amazing.
Fr: Stop whining that you are bored
Me: Yes mom.
Fr: you wrote: Again, being skeptics are still ok. But please do not stop at being just negative about things. If we do not like it, let us do something about it. And if we do not want to do anything, let us stop complaining. And, by the way, what makes us think that we are better than 'them' anyway?
Me: yes?
Fr: ....let us stop complaining
Me: Ha ha, notice that I put "us", me included.
Fr: Absolutely
Fr: so whenever you open your mouth or start writing or sharing or expressing that you are bored, perhaps you should remember what you wrote...
Me: I do.
Fr: Great
Fr: Off to zzz-land now
Me: ok.

My friend was absolutely right. I did ask for this and the universe has granted my wish. The conversation has said it all. No need for further comment from me. Thank you.

Thank you Lord for my family

Earlier today, all my brothers and sisters went to another town. I cannot remember when was the last time we went out of town together. I was not there unfortunately but a little bird (there are many little birds in my family) has told me how it went.

They chatted. They laughed. They played jokes among them. They told stories, private stories. They were very relaxed and open. Just like how bothers and sisters should be. I was not there but I smiled as I read the story. I can feel the happiness. I can feel the warmth. I can feel the love. I feel happy.

Added that with my 11 nephews and nieces, and my parents, and my cat, and my closed friends. I have to admit, I am looking forward to go home. I am so lucky to have such a home.

Thank you Lord for such a simple yet profound happiness.

Twisted words, yes, I still hate them

I shall try to tell you a story without revealing the incidence. Suffice to say, I have been blamed for something that I have not done.

A friend (A – let us say, a her) has used me as an excuse when another friend (B - him) asked her why she has chosen X over Y: “because Eva has told me such and such”. Something that had nothing to do with me (anymore). What a meddling bitch I am, if I were to do it.

Luckily, B was kind enough to reconfirm it with me. I felt that my words were taken out of the context. Firstly, I might have said it a long time ago that it should have become obsolete information. My friend A, I believe, should be intelligent enough to know this. Secondly, that was not the whole thing that I said. I said, “such and such but of course you can give X a try. It would do you no harm.”

I know I am vague here but I hope you get the gist. My first reaction when I heard this was, well, certain swear words came to mind (and mouth). Then I calmed down, and explained what happened to B. B was kind enough to understand. We have been friends for a long time.

I was amazed by my emotion (blame the monthly female period for this). I thought I have calmed down but this incidence is just small reminder that I still have a lot to learn. It was also a reminder of what awaits me when I return ‘to the real world’ or when I come out of my sabbatical period.

Twisted words - how dangerous can they be. How should one respond to that? Should we defend ourselves whenever this ‘attack’ crops up? It can be very tiring. But if we do not respond, will that damage our name? Should we care?

No wonder the Prophet (may God bless him and grant him peace) once said that one of the things we need to be careful with is that we have between our ears (i.e. our mouth). No wonder that more than half of the 10 legacies of Hasan Al-Banna focused on verbal communications. No wonder that the great Al Ghazali has dedicated a whole book on “the evil of the tongue”. Twisted words - how dangerous can they be.

PS: Mind you, I may not be free from that myself, unfortunately. I am still learning.

The painting competition

An old story worth reiterating.

Once upon a time the Chinese having challenged the Greeks to a trial of skill in painting, the Sultan summoned them both into edifices built for the purpose directly facing each other, and commanded them to show proof of their art. The painters of the two nations immediately applied themselves with diligence to their work.

The Chinese sought and obtained of the king every day a great quantity of colours, but the Greeks not the least particle. Both worked in profound silence, until the clangor of cymbals and of trumpets, announced the end of their labours.

Immediately the king, with his courtiers, hastened to their temple, and there stood amazed at the wonderful splendour of the Chinese painting and the exquisite beauty of the colours.

But meanwhile the Greeks, who had not sought to adorn the walls with paints, but laboured rather to erase every colour, drew aside the veil which concealed their work. Then, wonderful to tell, the manifold variety of the Chinese colours was seen still more delicately and beautifully reflected from the walls of the Grecian temple, as it stood illuminated by the rays of the midday sun."

This parable, of course, illustrates the favourite Sufi tenet that the heart must be kept pure and calm as an unspotted mirror.

Taken from Al Ghazali’s Ihya. Oh, how I miss reading your books.

Karma, reincarnation and the Ultimate Divine

Three things that we need to keep in mind, if we do not want to be bothered with the complexity of any religion. It is too complex for me to explain these concepts comprehensively and I may not be the right person to do so. But let me say this:

We are all connected. We are part of the world. We are part of the Ultimate Divine. In each of us lies the God within, but we are not God. We are still mere human but we have a spark of God within us.

All religions hint this – mostly implicitly. But many so called religious people or organizations got bogged down in the literal meaning of the words in their bibles, in the details of prayers and processions, and in determining who is right or wrong. The teaching, which should have led us to peace and wisdom, has turned us into beings of hatred and prejudice instead. How sad is that. No wonder many turns their back on religions.

Let us return to our original discussion. Each of us is striving to be better, to reach a better state of being. It is a long journey. That is why we need several lives to achieve it - hence, the need for reincarnation.

Each life is meant to be a step closer to the state of bliss, whose destination is solely to be one with the Truth, the Ultimate Divine, God, whatever we want to call it. This can only be reached through altruism, where we do everything selfishly for the betterment of humanity, without any desire to be recognized or appreciated. Yes, complex, but possible.

If you cannot accept the concept above, at least accept the Law of Karma: what goes around, comes around. Whatever we do, good or bad, will affect our future. At least this would make us more careful and would hinder us from hurting other beings. Karma is nature’s way of keeping the world in equilibrium – the basic physics concept of action and reaction.

No such thing as bad karma. All karmas are meant to be a way to improve a person. As an Indonesian named Aa Gym used to say: it does not matter what happens to you, what matters is how you respond to it, and that you come out a better person.

Again, not easy but it is possible. "All" we need to do is to just keep walking -- to focus on what is there in front of us, to not worry too much about our future -- and to listen to our heart always. Do not let your mind get in your way.

You do not need to believe every single word I say. To each, his own understanding and journey. The only ‘person’ that we need to listen to is ourselves within – our own heart, the God within us.

If we think it makes sense, then we can accept it as an addition to our knowledge and wisdom. If not, then we are free to leave it be, but please honor the differences – perhaps it is not time for us to accept it yet, or perhaps that person might be wrong. Let it be. To each his own understanding and journey.

As my friend, who studied theology, once said: “perhaps all religions as we know them are right. Or perhaps they are all just bullocks. We do not know.” Sad, but she might be right.

Happy father’s day

To my fathers – the real McCoy and all that have been like a father to me.

My birth father passed away more than 10 years ago.

He used to tell me the same bedtime story (yes, one same story) over and over again every night when I was little. But I had never got tired of it.

When I had grown up a bit, he still treated me as a kid. I used to hate it. There was even ‘one time’ when I disliked him so much that I refused to talk to him, not even a single word. The one time lasted for about two or three years. Yet, he was patient. He knew it would pass. It did and I loved him more than ever.

He loved books and learning new things. He loved discussing, second-guessing and questioning things. He was a man of common sense and vision.

He never complained about life. He was always thankful for whatever life had given him. He was a humble man. He worked hard but he never boasted about his success or his possessions.

I remember one time I had left my jacket in the taxi. I panicked. He looked at me and said, “Let it go, let it go”. I would never forget those words. Whenever something ‘bad’ happen, I told myself to let go.

He was helpful to his friends and relatives, but straightforward as well. When he did not like something, he would gladly say it. He had many good friends. Many of which remain friends to the family until today.

He (and Mom) let me choose what I want to do from the very early age. I cannot remember when was the last time they forbid me from doing anything. They always let me decide. Some people were still wondering how they could do that.

My father was not a saint. He was not free from sins or wrongdoings. Perhaps there are many things that I do not know about him. But I love him just the same. My mom and dad are the greatest in the world.

Happy father’s day, Pop. Thank you for everything. May you find peace, love and happiness in God’s eternal land. I love you. I love you too, Mom.

“I cannot understand…”

My teacher used that phrase yesterday when she was talking about a certain group of people which was much too often accused of living an unhealthy way of life. They steal, rob, etc, or so the perception goes.

She was basically saying that she does not like, she hates, she wants to stay away, and she does not want anything to do, with them. All those could have been a very strong statement.

But she did not use those words. Instead she used the phrase “I cannot understand” – She cannot understand why those people act that way.

Nice, I think. Instead of having a final judgment, generalizing, or being direct about it, she puts the ‘blame’ on her. Like saying “It is me who cannot understand. Perhaps they have a good reason or background why they do things the way they do it, which I do not know. Perhaps if I get to know them better, I will understand better as well.”

I have heard so many times how negative people think of that group. It has (almost) become a prejudice. But when I heard she said it, it does not feel like one. She puts ‘the blame’ on her. She points the finger at her and not somebody else.

Judging a book by its cover

Let me describe a friend of mine. She is Asian. Not much taller than I am but quite skinny. She smiles a lot. When she talks, she talks with a very soft voice, like she is unsure. She speaks Spanish but it is not really perfect. She hardly speaks English. She is learning how to dance flamenco but she is not exactly there yet. Can you picture her? Honestly, she does not seem like a strong personality to me. Not at first.

(My) Lessons learned: never prejudge, never underestimate.

We had coffee last night and she started telling me her story. She has been living in Spain for one year. She came here alone without knowing how to speak a word of Spanish. She has been moving from one city to another. In each city, she searched for her own apartment without having anyone to help her. She did not know anybody but she is not afraid to make friends despite of her not-so-perfect Spanish.

She is not afraid of learning something new. She studied to be a cook. Now she is planning to move to another city in Northern Spain just to learn how to cook in a special cook school. She does not know how long she will stay here yet. She will know when enough is enough. She also needs to work for her money otherwise she will not have enough.

She said much more but this should be enough. She told the story very lightly and as always with a smile on her face. I explicitly said to her that I love her story. It sounded so strong and adventurous.

Lessons learned for me: never prejudge, never underestimate. I love people who fight for their lives in a positively persistent manner. Hats off. Proficiat.

Bored, bored, bored

Another confession: I am bored.

I am practically doing nothing during these six months in Spain except learning the language. Not that I am undermining my learning Spanish or my spiritual process. Nor am I not thankful for this blessing called life. But I used to do and am used to doing a lot more. I feel useless and meaningless. I am bored.

But when I told this to my friends, they were puzzled. There are so many things you can do, they said, such as reading, traveling, and visiting museums. Go out and enjoy yourself, they added, you have what many people can only dream of: a one-year sabbatical leave, a 365 days of being free to do whatever you want without having to go to work. What a dream comes true.

Well, thank you. But that is exactly where the problem lies. All I do are going to four-hours-a-day classes, reading, traveling and chatting with friends. There are so many wrongs in the world and yet I am sitting here doing ‘nothing’. I need something more productive, something that will lead to producing something, something that is beneficial for other people. I feel useless. I feel guilty.

I do not know. Maybe it is just me. I am incapable of ‘enjoying myself’, if I were to apply the definition of “enjoying myself” used by so many people.

Am I strange to feel so bored in the middle of this beautiful country among these beautiful people? Am I wrong to feel useless and guilty? Am I weird for not being able to ‘enjoy myself’ and wanting to return to getting busy?

Enlighten me, people.

Faith

Interesting.

The word “faith”, according to Encarta World English Dictionary, means, “belief in, devotion to, or trust in somebody or something, especially without logical proof”.

Yet, do you know that the word “faith”, comes from “pistis” of the Greeks, which means "belief based on knowledge," whether supplied by the evidence of physical or spiritual senses?

Interesting, is it not? How the meaning has evolved through times so far to being practically the contrary. So which type of faith do you subscribe to?

PS: If faith without knowledge is not really faith, does this mean that ‘blind faith’ is a contradictive term?

Me, I am a cynic as well

I was reading my writings about cynics and skeptics. My God, I am one of ‘them’, the cynics.

I was being cynical about the cynics. I was guilty of the same sin. Hence, allow me to tell you something different about the same matter.

Last week we were talking about countries in our class. At one time, we spoke about Israel. It was a controversial topic. Then, there was this friend of mine who have lived in Israel for several months. He started to tell us about his beautiful experience there, about how the Israelis where he lived had welcomed him so warmly and about their culture.

I enjoyed listening to his story, more than he realized. Is it not amazing how different your perspective about certain things can be once you get to know them better? Is it not beautiful to set aside our prejudice and to gain real understanding about it?

As Professor Alexander Wilder says in his "Introduction to the Eleusinian Mysteries," "It is ignorance which leads to profanation. Men ridicule what they do not properly understand. . . “ So true.

I loved his story. More than he realized.

Cynicsm, again

Second time with the same topic. I supposed I am really getting tired of it. People complaining, people prejudicing, people saying bad things about things they hardly know anything about.

Yet, what do they do about it? NOTHING. And are we any better than those whom we are referring to? NOT REALLY. NOT SURE. MOST PROBABLY NOT.

I have a lot of these this week. People negatively commenting on, or rather arguing about so many things. I was there but I did not want to get involved. And it is everywhere. All over the Internet and media. And back home as well. All those least-useful polemics and demonstrations. Pfffhhhh.

Honestly, knowledge-less prejudice, generalization and non-constructive criticism, add that with lack of common sense, rage, or worse, anarchism. Few things are uglier and more boring than those.

Save the voice, energy and life for something more productive and positive.

Theosophy and Blavatsky

Just when I thought I have started to have a good grasp of God and religions, along come this theosophist named Helena Petrovna Blavatsky. An excerpt from her book The Key to Theosophy:

"ENQUIRER. Theosophy and its doctrines are often referred to as a new-fangled religion. Is it a religion?

THEOSOPHIST. It is not. Theosophy is Divine Knowledge or Science.

ENQUIRER. What is the real meaning of the term?

THEOSOPHIST. "Divine Wisdom," (Theosophia) or Wisdom of the gods, as (theogonia), genealogy of the gods. The word theos means a god in Greek, one of the divine beings, certainly not "God" in the sense attached in our day to the term. Therefore, it is not "Wisdom of God," as translated by some, but Divine Wisdom such as that possessed by the gods. The term is many thousand years old."
Pause here. Deep breath. Okay? Right, another quote from the same book:

"THEOSOPHIST. The WISDOM-RELIGION was ever one, and being the last word of possible human knowledge, was, therefore, carefully preserved. It preceded by long ages the Alexandrian Theosophists, reached the modern, and will survive every other religion and philosophy.

ENQUIRER. Where and by whom was it so preserved?

THEOSOPHIST. Among Initiates of every country; among profound seekers after truth -- their disciples; and in those parts of the world where such topics have always been most valued and pursued: in India, Central Asia, and Persia.

ENQUIRER. Can you give me some proofs of its esotericism?

THEOSOPHIST. The best proof you can have of the fact is that every ancient religious, or rather philosophical, cult consisted of an esoteric or secret teaching, and an exoteric (outward public) worship. Furthermore, it is a well-known fact that the MYSTERIES of the ancients comprised with every nation the "greater" (secret) and "Lesser" (public) MYSTERIES -- e.g. in the celebrated solemnities called the Eleusinia, in Greece. From the Hierophants of Samothrace, Egypt, and the initiated Brahmins of the India of old, down to the later Hebrew Rabbis, all preserved, for fear of profanation, their real bona fide beliefs secret. The Jewish Rabbis called their secular religious series the Mercavah (the exterior body), "the vehicle," or, the covering which contains the hidden soul. -- i.e., their highest secret knowledge. Not one of the ancient nations ever imparted through its priests its real philosophical secrets to the masses, but allotted to the latter only the husks. …"

The book, of course, goes on and on, but I am pretty sure at this point, you have said, “Uh?” My comment: "Exactly". Sigh. Just at the point of when I think I know something, somebody slapped me on my head and said otherwise.

I think the book has given me a new possibility of viewing life and ‘God’. It is a very interesting view as well. Each of the religions or belief systems that exists today or in the past have a piece of puzzle which help us makes much more sense of life. But each is so cryptic as well that what we understand today perhaps is no way near to what the bible or whoever is the principle person in our religion/belief system wants to say.

I will tell you more about it when I get a better grasp of what she is saying. In the meantime you can check her out, for instance in The homepage of The Theosophical Society or a website dedicated to Helena Blavatsky. I supposed then the journey is far from over. And I am taking you along with me. All the way.

Skeptics, Cynics

I once asked my boss what the difference was between a skeptic and a cynic. I think his answer was skeptic is more objective whereas a cynic implies that there is more (negative or strong) emotion involved. Not sure whether this is the correct one.

But whatever the exact meaning is, there are so many skeptics/cynics around me nowadays. Too many. Here, I want to talk about people who are cynical about the government. I supposed it is good that they start to see that there is something wrong with something. This means they are thinking. If only they can move one step further and do something about it.

An imaginary conversation between H (him or her) and M (me).

H: Sad what has happened in our country.
M: True.
H: The problem is there are too many selfish, corrupted, greedy people in the country. [Well, or something like that. Cannot remember them exactly]
M: Yes, all that is fine. But what can you do about it?
H: what can I do? I have no power.
M: BS. If you (or us) – those who have enjoyed good education and blessed life – cannot do anything about this, then nobody can.
H: Yeah, but I do not like politics.
M: It does not have to be through politics and it does not need to go that far. You do not have to be the president. Just start small. Yourself, your company, your family, your neighborhood, anything that is immediately around you.

And that goes to all of you. To all of us – me included. To quote an Indonesian Moslem preacher Aa Gym: “start from ourselves, start small, and start now” -- A simple yet profound recommendation.

Again, being skeptics are still ok. But please do not stop at being just negative about things. If we do not like it, let us do something about it. And if we do not want to do anything, let us stop complaining. And, by the way, what makes us think that we are better than 'them' anyway?

Sorry to be so blunt. I have enough of these negativities.

Miauw

Oh how I miss my cat Miauw. Look at her – the crazy strange cat that she is.

The only things she does are sleep, eat and those two other things.

The only time she comes near you is when she is hungry or when you are sitting at her seat (and she gives a strong signal that you must leave the seat immediately as well). Otherwise she will be lying somewhere a bit far away in a strategic most comfortable sofa or bed in the house, out of your reach.

The only time she lets you touch her is when she is eating -- probably because she needs to concentrate on something (i.e. eating) more important and urgent, and cannot be bothered by just about anything else.

Yet my family loves her to bits. Now who is crazier and stranger here? Perhaps that is exactly what the cat thinks.

Success and failure

Another friend told me about her achievement at work. She was much more confident and positive than the last time I met her. Is it not wonderful how ‘success’ can build one’s confidence and, thus, character?

Unfortunately, the fact is, it is ‘failure’ that can truly build one’s character. When somebody experiences failure and comes out stronger, then, only then, (s)he has really succeeded in building his/her character.

Strange – if you fail and you come out strong, then you succeed. So, does it mean you fail or succeed? Or both?

There is hope for the pessimists. -- But then again, a true pessimist does not have hopes.. Hmm. (I must give up this game of playing with words)

Sometimes I am better than I think I am

But most of the time, I often THINK I am better than I really am.

- Just playing with words. Apology to all the optimists in the world -

Where is home?

This is a quote from my online chat with an Indonesian friend. She has been living abroad for so long. She did not like Jakarta much when she returned there. She is now working in another city in Indonesia.

…
Me: So how often do you return to Jakarta?
Me: Well, “return” may not be the right word. Sounds too much like home.
She: You bet. It is more appropriate to say “how often do you visit Jakarta?”
Me: Ha ha, I was about to say the exact same word.
She: I can VISIT Jakarta one week every two months.
…

It is amazing how one do not call the city where (s)he has spent more than half of his/her life home. But then it is possible. Look at my friend, for instance. People say home is where the heart is (hey, look, I am using a cliché)

Me? I have three homes: Indonesia, Scotland and Spain.

Or perhaps, if my home is where my heart is, then my home is where my heart really is: within me, wherever I go.

Or perhaps, if I have to be honest, then my home is where He, The Ultimate Truth, is, where I really long to be. One day, one day.

Euuuugghhh

How do you write "euuuugghhh"? Or is it ´"eeuuuwww"? Like when you see something and you are amazed about it in not such a positive way. Or should I say whoooa here? More neutral and can mean both ways.

That is what I thought when I read my recent writings again. Have I really gone that serious? Hm, should step back or step aside a bit. Even more so when I read the blog of a friend, Hani - in Indonesian. So light yet so entertaining and beautiful.

I should do that. I should. Learn something new everyday. Relax, va, lighten up a bit.

A new phase

Today I felt like I have entered a new phase in my spiritual journey.

I have been shown what has happened in my past and what I needed to learn from that. I have been pointed out what my objectives should be. I have been given a glimpse of the tasks ahead of me along with their challenges.

So what am I to do now? I think, now, it is drilling time. I need to prepare myself for the battle ahead. God has been kind to give me such a lovely training ground and an ample amount of time. Being here in Seville and Barcelona, Spain, for six months. So much yet to learn.

I think God agrees. After I wrote this, it was late afternoon, there was a brisk rain and sun at the same time. This can only mean one thing: rainbow. A beautiful rainbow. Let me write this one more time. A very beautiful rainbow. And you know what they say about what is at the end of a rainbow. Thank you.

Disciplining the soul

Two quotes from Al-Ghazali on disciplining the soul. A translation by TJ Winter.

"Aspirancy (irada) is, according to a useful definition, ‘ the desire to come to the Beloved through inner combat (mujahada)’. Put differently, it is ‘the voluntary quest of the of the heart for spiritual sustenance.’ … Once the spiritual wayfarer has set off, numerous distractions and obstacles beset him. … The most intransigent are ‘money, status, conformism and sin’."

"A man once asked the Emissary of God (may God bless him and grant him peace) about good character, and he recited His statement (Exalted is He!) Hold to forgiveness, and enjoin kindness and turn aside from the ignorant ones. Then he said (may God bless him and grant him peace), ‘It is that you should seek reconciliation with those who avoid you, give to those who withhold from you, and forgive those who deal with you unjustly’. "

Just want to share this with you. You have guessed it, it is the book that I am reading now. I have just reached page 15 and already there is so much I can learn from it.

The cartoons of Muhammad

(may God bless him and grant him peace)

I did not pay attention to this issue because.. because I think we should handle this differently and focus our mind on other things. But this changed yesterday when my teacher made me read the news and asked me to give my opinion. Then I became curious about it and I just need to get it out of my system. So I started writing.

I bet many of you think: what is the fuss all about? To Moslems, it is a big fuss.

Moslems believe that there should never be any picture of Muhammad (may God bless him and grant him peace), however meaningful, beautiful and artistic it may be. Because it may hinder us from focusing solely on God and may make us imagine or glorify Muhammad (may God bless him and grant him peace) out of his proportion. And maybe because.. well, look what has happened now.

Some people then pointed that this is a free country. People can express whatever they want to express. Shall we express it even at the expense of other people’s privacy and beliefs? Oh such a difficult subject to discuss.

If we think a person is ugly, shall we go ahead and say it? If we hear something bad about someone, should we go out and spread it? Have we already known the whole story or do we only know an incomplete picture? What are the advantages and disadvantages of saying it? Is it that important for us (and him) to say it?

Do we really need to say it, in that way? How do we think he and his loved ones will feel? Do we care? Is there a better way of doing it? Will it be better if we just keep quiet and think of what is positive about him instead?

There is also a question of how the Moslem should respond to it. Are they over-reacting? If somebody you hold so dear, in your point of view, has been maltreated, will you not respond enthusiastically?

But if we respond, how should we respond? And if we respond in the same manner as this initial cause of chain reaction, does it mean we are guilty of the same ‘mistake’? How can we make the other people see, appreciate and respect our point of view? How can we stop this from being a vicious, pointless, never-ending cycle of arguments that may lead to more hatred and prejudice in the world? (Oh, just what we need)

I must confess. Before I wrote this article, I searched the Internet for the pictures. What I found was naïve pictures of the Prophet (may God bless him and grant him peace) (perhaps too naïve to understand the consequence behind it), pictures of the rage caused by it, and pictures of the rage caused by the reactions (these ones are so heartbreaking for me) When will this stop? Why should this unnecessary hatred start?

It is such a difficult subject to discuss. Had we known the answer, perhaps there will be peace on earth. But let us give it a shot anyway. Let us stop having pointless and never-ending cycle of arguments. Let us be more productive, helpful and loving to one another.

In cases where we do not see eye-to-eye, as my boss (Hi Ong ;)) used to say, let us just agree to disagree and be done with it. Respect the differences that exist among us.

May wisdom, love and peace be upon us all.

Temper.. temper..

Just when I thought I have mastered my temper, something is telling me otherwise.

My friends and I were talking about the topic of marriage and how men treat their women. Suddenly, one friend pointed at another friend who happened to be Moslem and said sharply that Muhammad (may God bless him and grant him peace) also had three wives.

Oh the pain in my heart. I thought I could take ït but I could not. She was accusing somebody (I mean, Muhammad (may God bless him and grant him peace)) who was so dear to me without knowing the story behinds it.

First reaction that came to mind was to say “hey, now, wait a minute..”. But then after a split second, I have calmed down and tried to explain it, and may I add, in Spanish. Of course, I do not think I made much sense while speaking about such a complex topic in a language that I barely have mastered. But I let it rest after that. Let it be.

You see, had I reacted in the same sharpness as hers, I would have been guilty of the same mistake: expressing my feeling and opinion about something without having a complete picture of it. I did not know why she had such a strong opinion. It can be because of a very logical reason. I do not know.

Prejudice and quick judgment -- how destructive they can be.

Train-spotting

My friend once said that a train-spotter is a person who sits in the railway station for hours doing nothing but watching the trains come and go.

In a way, I am a train-spotter. I love watching people. You ought to have known that by now. And this is what I have seen in the last couple of days.

On the bus: A woman with two small children trying to get off the bus. Another lady near her helped her with her second child while asking the bus driver to wait for a bit until the two children were safely off the bus. The bus driver waited patiently.

On the bus: A young woman calling out to an elderly couple and letting them take her seat. They were from different races.

While walking: My teacher taking her daughter to school. Because the gate of the school was not open yet, they sat on the bench in front. The daughter sat on my teacher’s laps while the mom is warmly hugging her.

While walking: A father holding her mentally challenged daughter with love and telling her stories about the surroundings.

In the restaurant: a waitress casually – without being disrespectful – greeting two senior citizens who have just walked in the restaurant by saying “hey girls” and starting to chat with them.

They were such wonderful scenes. There is still love in the world. Thank you, Lord.

… we only live once – La segunda parte

A little Spanish there.

We only live once. Are you sure? Oh that can open up a whole different door for discussion. For this time, I will limit my question to: if we only live this life, what shall we do about it?

Shall we ‘fun’ ourselves to death? (Death? Aha! That is another interesting topic. Shall we talk about it? Remind me) Or shall we make the best of it and try to make ourselves useful to the world or at least the people around us?

Perhaps I should end this article here. And let each of us answer it ourselves.

Let’s have fun, we only live once

An expression I have heard so many times in my life. Yes, but what’s fun? Your definition might be different from mine.

The noun ¨Fun, according to MS’s Encarta, is a time or feeling of enjoyment or amusement or something such as an activity that provides enjoyment or amusement.

So what amuses us? For me, now it is less about partying and drinking all night, talking and laughing perhaps at the expense of other people, or banging our heads to that loud music (Banging? I am so eighties).

To me, more and more, fun is about watching a child feeling so content in her mother’s arms, is about being one with nature, is about singing with the less fortunate orphans in their emergency school (hi mbak Mel, miss you much), fun is .. a lot of things I cannot describe here but you get the drift.

Now, how can I have fun…

… when I was browsing the Internet to search of updates of my country, the first thing I found was news about a mom-to-be celebrity having a baby shower but few people know who the father is?

… when everywhere I go I see homeless people on the street, I witness people fighting over nothing, and I watch people suffer from hunger and disease?

… when I know there is so much wrongs in the world yet so little I can do? I can feel the tears in my eyes even as I wrote this.

So, are we having fun yet? Shall we or shall we not have fun? Do we deserve to have fun? If so, what kind?

[to be continued]

Beautiful prayers

I have put three here.

One.
Dear Lord.
Help me to live this day
Quietly, easily;
To lean upon thy great strength,
Trustfully, restfully;
To wait for the unfolding of Thy will
Patiently, serenely,
To meet others
Peacefully, joyously;
To face tomorrow
Confidently, courageously.
Amen

Two.
In the name of God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
Praise be to God, the Cherisher and Sustainer of the Worlds;
Most Gracious, Most Merciful;
Master of the Day of Judgment.
Thee do we worship, and Thine aid we seek.
Show us the straight way,
The way of those on whom Thou hast bestowed Thy Grace,
those whose (portion) is not wrath, and who go not astray.
Amen

Three. This one is so cute. It is a prayer of a fisherman:
Dear God
Be good to me
The sea is so wide
And my boat is so small

Bypassers

Last week, I said goodbye to many people – two teachers and several fellow students of my school. Some I held dear to my heart.

It is amazing how God has made me stay put in Seville and see people come and go because most students spend less time here than I do.

Such is life. People come and go. We gain things and we lose things. Embracing things as it comes. Making the most of them - learning and enjoying - while we have them. Letting them go when it is time to do so and moving on. Realizing that the only thing that remain is always God and His blessings.

Some of the great lessons in life we need to learn. It is all one great puzzle of life - with God (or whichever Supreme Being you may believe in) putting little clues here and there. We just need to have a keen eye and a conscious heart to decrypt them. (Decrypt? Blessed are all the cryptologists ;) )

Goodbye my friends. Thank you so much for the good times and the great lessons.

Be with those who help your being

Cannot help but put another Rumi here:

Be with those who help your being.
Do not sit with indifferent people,
whose breath comes cold out of their mouths.
Not these visible forms, your work is deeper.

A chunk of dirt thrown in the air breaks to pieces.
If you do not try to fly,
and so break yourself apart,
you will be broken open by death,
when it is too late for all you could become.

Leaves get yellow.
The tree puts out fresh roots and makes them green.
Why are you so content with a love that turns you yellow?

May we all find true love, peace and happiness in our heart – the kinds that can only come from the Merciful and Compassionate One.

Look at Love…

Get into the wagon of the Valentine’s spirit! ☺ Let’s talk about love. For this subject, and several others, few people say it better than Djalal ad Din Rumi:

Look at Love...
how it tangles
with the one fallen in love

look at spirit
how it fuses with earth
giving it new life

why are you so busy
with this or that or good or bad
pay attention to how things blend

why talk about all
the known and the unknown
see how unknown merges into the known

why think separately
of this life and the next
when one is born from the last

look at your heart and tongue
one feels but deaf and dumb
the other speaks in words and signs

look at water and fire
earth and wind
enemies and friends all at once

the wolf and the lamb
the lion and the deer
far away yet together

look at the unity of this
spring and winter
manifested in the equinox

you too must mingle my friends
since the earth and the sky
are mingled just for you and me

be like sugarcane
sweet yet silent
don't get mixed up with bitter words

my beloved grows
right out of my own heart
how much more union can there be